How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy I will be committed)

Last one out makes it - right? Apparently not in my house. ;(

Enough said?

(and yes we sleep in a double bed with a cat and sometimes a certain, soon to be 9 year old girl.  I like it cozy!)

Pinterest Monsters

So the other day PITA Facebooks me a message. She needs a favour.

Her oldest son, my cute-y pa-tootie nephew has his first loose tooth.  She needs a tooth fairy pillow stat.

She hinted that she was going to do it herself but we all know, that that hint was her beating around the bush because she wanted to ask me.

I put an end to it and offered. Not because she wanted me to but because I did!

I had seen monster tooth pillows on Pinterest - even had one pinned - so I had a general idea of what I wanted to do.

The Pinterst Version
{Via}

Turns out it was a very quick and easy project.

I did not use the tutorial at The Long Thread (obviously) as the photo was enough for me, but it looks like it would be helpful if need be. I just had a look at it, and the tutorial cuts the body out at 6 1/2" square and mine was 8".  I am happy with the result and am not one for following instructions.

(Aside:  I took a left brain right brain test yesterday.  I scored 71% right brained.  The results of the test suggested that I need to work on my left brain skills. Eeck!)

I used a royal blue sweater I had cut up for owl making, some interfacing (to keep the sweater from stretching), a scrap of wool felt for the teeth, eyes I had ready to go for the owls, a couple of buttons and a scrap of orange fabric (inside the mouth) and got it done within a half an hour!

My Version

Pretty cute, eh?

How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy I will be committed)

Haven't posted in a while and I not going to make lame excuses. I just have not had anything interesting to say.

(Frankly 2014 has sucked and I haven't had anything fun to write and I was not interested in starting anymore family feuds with my eloquently written words. That, and posting with my iPad has not turned out to be as fabulous as I imagined it would be.)

But then there it was.

CH giving me something harmless to talk about. Or complain about. You can decide.

We went through his clothes to donate what he doesn't wear - three garbage bags later, I left the room. My work was done.

Pfft.  Perhaps not!

Go to bed last night and there they are.

All the hangers from the clothes he donated on the bed.

This is the kind of shit that leads to divorce.

Or at the very least some serious mock strangulation.

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The Roaring Quiet

I have been very quiet here since the middle of October.  I have been very busy, but I have also been feeling very quiet.  I have had a lot on my plate and I have been feeling a bit blue.  This week seems worse.

I cannot seem to shake that feeling of anxiety. As if someone  - something - is, literally, squeezing my lungs.

I want this blog to transform into something great. Something  dedicated to the creative and fun side of me. Not the side that feels sad and overwhelmed and like taking my children and running way.

I do not always feel like that but I feel like that now and I need to find a way to turn things around.

I am not someone who can fake it.  I cannot force happy words out of the keys when all I really feel is sad. Frustrated. Angry. Anxious.

A new year is about to begin.  I am hoping for the best.

31 Days of Pinterest, Days 21 and 22

CH is away and I have been feeling like a proper house wife. Cooking and cleaning and content to stay at home taking care of my family and getting things done.

This morning I came to the realization that I really seem to have a mental block when it comes to CH being home and my ability to get things done.  I suppose subconsciously, I feel like if he isn't doing anything but what he wants (sleeping) then why would I be cleaning out the fridge or washing the floors?  It is not really okay and I need to work on that. I have an appointment on Wednesday. ;)

So what has been happening around here?

Well, Baby J was born.

J for Josephine since The Mouth's actual name is Josh and The Boss' actual name Jamie I suppose they thought it would be cute to keep the J theme going - and it is.  I have to wonder if they will name subsequent children with J's as well.  Subsequent children?  perhaps I am getting a little ahead of myself!

Strangely, I think she looks like her mother.  First Ihas in history to not look like an Ihas, but still cute as a button. LOVE LOVE LOVE her hair.

I am very much looking forward to meeting her but at the same time I am a little terrified.  I will save that drama for another day.

{via}

So what else?  Nothing Pinterest worthy I am afraid.  I have been trying to do some de-cluttering.  With CH gone, it is easier to throw stuff in the trash or take it to the Sally Ann - when he is here we tend to feed off of each other's hoarding tendencies. ;)

Yesterday I loaded up a black garbage bag full of miscellaneous junk I still had in bins and what not from the shop.  That's right.  The shop. The one I closed a year ago and I am just now finding the time to sort through stuff.  Maybe a little part of it is that I didn't have the heart for it and now I just want a clean, clutter free home!

So, I might make some cookies today.  (The little man asked me to, we shall see if I can find the time.)  If I do, I will be using this best every chocolate chip cookie recipe from Martha Stewart.

They are so good it hurts but they are so very very bad.  Pretty much sugar, butter and, as The Little Man said, fry it and you are done. In my house we call them Auntie Surely's Chocolate Chip Cookies.

They are so, so good.  I dare you to eat just one.

31 Days of Pinterest, Day 7

Today you are not getting a pin. You are getting an announcement. I have been asked to participate in the Kootenay Artisan Market - which is a juried market and I'm in without an application! Ha

I guess I can give you one little pin... a picture of the girls we will be fosting this upcoming weekend. :D

 

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I WANT A PUPPY!

Okay.  Need to vent.

I really want a puppy. (We really want a puppy - but I am the only one doing the work to get a puppy - and that is a whole other post right there!)

In August our sweet (yet annoying) Pierre passed away peacefully in his sleep.

We had been thinking about adding a puppy to our family already, but his passing made it feel more urgent.  I really miss his talking to me (although I did not always appreciate it when he was here), and keeping my feet warm on the ottaman while I sew, and sitting at my feet waiting for things to 'fall' while I cook.  He was so smart and snuggly and funny... :(

Anyway, CH and I agree that all of our pets have just kind of come to us because they needed homes.  We thought getting a rescue would be good for us. Holy molly its like pulling teeth! They want to know ever detail of your life, references, photos, a home visit.... and then the one that I have been talking to - which is a small dog rescue - says oh, you are kind of far away.  Sorry but no.

Backyard breeders, here I come. :(

Tina

Summer Time Blues

This summer went by so fast - way too fast.  I am sad that it is so close to being over but admittedly, I am looking forward to having a schedule again.  I work so much better when my kids are not bugging each other in the other room when I am trying to focus on writing something charming and witty. ;)

I had a busy day today.  Market in the morning with Nag and then to Nelson for my fourth drop off at the Craft Connection.  Pretty happy about that.  We had a really great talk about CH on the way home, didn't make me feel any better but it helped me to understand a bit better and perhaps, more easily work with him, rather than the current scenario of my imagining, on a fairly consistent basis, hitting him with a baseball bat to knock some sense into his brain.

The thing is, I am fine.  I do not suffer any metal health issues.  Not saying I am perfect - or even all that normal - I just don't struggle.  When I am acting like an asshole, I usually know it.  And I am sorry for it. When I am stuck, I usually know it. If I don't I know I have people who will tell me.  And I trust them and believe them and make a few visits to the councillor's office to get out of my 'funk'.  Why doesn't he trust me when I tell him??  Why does he think I am just being critical or over reacting?  How do I get though to him? Help him to understand that he needs a little help.  That he could feel better than he does... We all need a little help every now and then.  A boost.  A step up.  A shoulder to lean on.  I would be that shoulder...

Anyway.  I decided not to blog so personally any more as the address for this blog is everywhere - on my business cards, Facebook and my labels but here I am airing my dirty laundry!   Who knows, maybe someone will have some advice on how to help a depressed person recognize it and accept help for it. Oh well.  Maybe the next post will be more crafty and less crazy.  ;p

Enjoy your last days of summer. xxo
Tina

The Mouth, The Boss and Baby J Makes Three

Remember I told you that The Mouth and The Boss are having a baby? I am not sure if I told you but Baby J is a she. :) That is pretty exciting in this male dominated family.

So today, during the Little Man and Penelope's year end concert, CH got an emergency text from The Mouth. The Boss was bleeding.

She is 23 weeks 5 days. Tomorrow she is going to be air lifted to Vancouver.

The Little Man was a 29 week 6 day premie. That six weeks is huge.

I am worried for Baby J. I am worried for The Mouth. I am worried for The Boss. We are a family. Dysfunctional or not, family is family. And this is a life changing event.

I am a firm believe that everything happens for a reason. Is the reason for this horrible happening to help The Mouth stand up and move over the threshold into adulthood? To help him to become a grown up in the hardest most heart wrenching way possible - through the struggles of your child?

I love you all. You have my heart and my support. Fight Baby J! Fight!

xxoo G.

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A Storm is Brewing

Over the weekend, I had some time to talk some things out with a friend who I feel is wiser - she is older than me and that is usually how these things work. She is in similar circumstances in that her husband had an accident and is not longer the man she married as a result of it.  Mine too.

Over the last few years it has been a constant struggle for me with CH.  After speaking to my friend, I feel like I understand a bit better and so I decided that I was going to try to help... I asked him if he would go to counselling   Okay, maybe I suggested, strongly, that he go. And I told him why. Now I will tell you.

He sleeps - or lies down and appears to be sleeping - for the vast majority of everyday. He wakes up at 7 and gets us going and is back to bed by about 8:30 every morning. He is almost always sleeping when I leave for work at 10 and if I happen to call home during the day his voice sounds gravely as if I have woken him up more often than not.

He does not often take his meals with us - because he is laying down 'resting his neck' - and then eats sweets, baked goods  and peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner at 11 - all while laying down.

He complains almost every morning that he did not sleep.  Even though chances are he fell asleep on the couch or upstairs putting the kids to bed and slept for 2-4 hours before I went to bed and took him with me. Not to mention the fact that he slept or was laying down 'resting his neck' for the vast majority of the day.

He is constantly agitated and snappy.  When confronted with this he gets angry and belligerent and denies it.  When I tried to talk to him this even he denied all of what I have just said.

I do not know what to do.  How can I make him understand without making it worse for my children.  He is not setting a good example for them. He is not fun to be with, ever, anymore.  He is not happy... and it is making me unhappy with him.

I will make an appointment for him tomorrow and hopefully he will go and things for him - and then us - will get better.

I need to add that, I am not unhappy in general.  In fact, I am very very happy.  Things are going so well and so smoothly.  I am in a really good place - I would just like it if he were in it with me.

:)  Tina

So Good and Then So Very Very Bad.

At blogging that is.

I have no excuse.

I have been busy - but everyone is busy.

I have been happy and therefore have had less of a need for ranting and raving... and lets face face it, that makes up a significant portion of my posts!

I have been sewing - a lot.  Lots of orders coming in and lots of local recognition.  AND local markets are gearing up which means I need to spend my evenings sewing.  Poor me.

I found out today my grand baby is a girl. That is pretty exciting. Penelope is happy to finally have a girl in the family besides me and PITA (who turned 30 this week!!)

Last week (I think it was last week - who can tell with soccer and ball and dance and craft fairs and work and sewing and Library Board and Restorative Justice Board and CH going away I have been too busy to keep track of time!) I got accepted at Craft Connection in Nelson.

This week I had a message on Facebook from Surely and I bawled like a lunatic baby for like 45 mins.

On the weekend we are going to Kaslo so that I can vend in their May Days celebration, we are camping and I am excited.  It is supposed to rain but I am optimistic!

I have been spending a lot of time talking (well texting and messaging) my friend Krista who is starting up an online fabric store.  I am sure she will do much better than me - she is cautious and I am not!! (and should have been!) Plus of course, she has me and my enormous failure to draw experience from!  And I suppose my talent too...

Speaking of talent.  My kids have inflated my ego to the point where I actually believe that I should audition for The Voice and I have begun singing at work and not caring if they hear me not.  Hahaha Poor them.

Work is great.  I like working with men, especially when they are funny and they care.  I feel like we are a little family.  I am going to have to think of some blog nicknames for the two of them.

Okay, so I really do need to sew.  I have lots of bags that are almost done and I want to bring them with me to Kaslo.  I will try (Nag!) my best to get back to being regular.  I thought an iPad would make it easier but I cannot type fast on it and it makes it less fun.  I will try harder.

Back soon!  :o)  Tina

Hello Old Friend

I don't like to make excuses and tell you the same old thing over and over again but sometimes they are true.

Since the beginning of Spring Break I have been SO busy!

I thought when school started again I would get a little less busy - and maybe I have but now I am exhausted. Man do I hate mornings! And even more, I hate giving up the night so that I can get up easily in the morning. Which leads to my being a zombie by 10pm, early in Tinaland.

I have been busy - and really happy. Things have been going well. Smoothly. Knock on wood.

I got turned down by Circle Craft. Did I tell you about Circle Craft? The most amazing store in the province to sell handmade things. They felt the little owls 'not in keeping with the store's image' and my bags looked to be fitting but 'we already have a surplus of bags in the shop'.

I am disappointed but not discouraged. I know I'm good. (Toot toot - that one is for you PITA!)

In other news, The Mouth and The Boss seem to be doing well but hate us. Or, what else is new, me. Poor CH is hated by association. I am sad about it. I hope they grow up BEFORE the baby or at the very least soon after. They are going to need help. I don't want to talk about it.

The Little Man is playing baseball this year. I am pretty darn excited about that! To date he has not been much of a sports guy and now it's ball, soccer, and skiing. I'm proud and excited. Love him so much.

I have been watching Glee or Supernatural when I am sewing. One funny and light hearted and one I cannot watch without CH around cause it is too creepy!! USA Netflicks is fabulous!

Over Spring Break Penelope's bestie slept over for like 10 nights and then came for the weekend this weekend too. We love having her - well The Little Man doesn't love having two sisters. ;p

I have seen sewing like crazy. I will get some photos at the craft fair I am attending this coming weekend if I have a chance - it's going to be a gong show. CH will be in Vancouver for the doctor and Penelope has Dance Fest - which means I have to be in two places at once. It should be interesting...

That's all for now. I will try to or back soon,

:) Tina

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The Ugly Face of the Past.. Again!

Just now, as I sat down to make notes to later write a post about the craziness of my youth and how naive I was and still am, the phone rings.

It was Penelope. She and her bestie have been having a marathon sleepover since the second day of spring break (the first was my birthday) and last night they were at the besties house.

She was crying.

The bestie wanted to have a sleep over with someone else.

I lost it. I was angry and crying and of the edge of becoming hysterical.

Needless to say, I passed the phone to CH.

I so cannot handle my kids being unhappy in their friendships.

When I was 15 and left home, even though I started off going to the same high school, all of my friends left me. The people I had known and been friends with since I was five years old.

When I was in my 20s and H1 and I split, I went through the same thing again. I was older and hurt so much more.

I need to let my own issues rest and not act like such a loon when my kids friends let them down. It just hurts so much.

Me more than them I think.

I know it is the old hurts.

I know I expect too much of people once I call them friend.

I need t relax and let them have their own relationships and make their own friends and learn their own lessons. It is just so hard.

CH dealt with it. They are all sleeping over at the the third kids hours.

I think I am okay...

Rant over. Deep breath.

Back to what I was doing...

:/ Tina

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Happy

In contrast to yesterday - I am feeling happy and relaxed. Not too sure what all that was about really. Just one of those days I guess.

I just got a new app for my iPad - recommended by a reader who left a comment. Woot! Love comments.

This post is my trial run to see how well it works for me. If it does what I need it to I will get chat up on all this Pinterest posts and Snap365 posts I have been missing. :)

Maybe part of yesterday was that I received this. Proof that I am old enough to be called Grandma!

My little Bitty just old enough to have a heart beat. :)

 

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A Son is A Son

They say, a son is a son until he gets a wife and a daughter, a daughter for life (thank God and/or the Ancient Aleins for that).

But. What if he is not biologically your son? What if he is your step son and he already isn't as in love with you are with him and his 'wife' doesn't really love you all that much either?

Does that mean you don't count at all?  Feels like it to me...

In other news:

The Little Man is a bachelor once again.

I have a raging case of PMS and with that sore boobs, exhaustion, insatiable hunger, and the blues, and apparently I am pretty forgetful as I forgot to plug the crock pot in this morning so we had to have KD for dinner, which as I am PMSing was kind of soothing and nice.

I have 6 days left of being in my 30s and although I want to believe that I do not care, I might actually.  A little bit. Thank God we bought that car or I would really be feeling like a looser.

Ah, the joys of PMS.  Did I mention that I also like to feel sorry for myself a little bit? :p

Well, off to sew for the night.  Not that you have any reason to believe me as I never post any photos. I can't figure out an easy way to do it from my iPad and my laptop is all but retired. If you have a solution for me please provide it, even though I am not too sure it would help. ;)

Nighty night,
Tina oox

Secrets, Lies and Drama

I am going to be the BIG 40 on March 15th and I am so over dealing with high school crap.  Rightfully so. 40 is too old for head games and nonsense.

I am telling the secret. It is a lame secret anyway. Not the kind that can be kept. The information itself is not lame. Not even one little bitty bit.

In fact is is furthest thing from lame.  It is amazing and exciting and life changing for a whole lotta people.

Ready for it?

The Boss is knocked up.

I have not been positing because this is all I want to post about and I am supposed to be keeping it under wraps!

My 19 year old son has inpregnated his 20 year old girlfriend.

I am going to be a Gramma... Or a Nan.... Or a something... I am far to young to make such a decision.

The drama? Well folks, she is a) 20, b) not the wicked step mothers biggest fan and c) a raving hormon.  Do you remember how mature you were at 20? I had just moved in with H1 after 8 months of living out of a backpack "on the road". I cared about me and maybe him and I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with myself. I was 180 degrees different than I am today.

I do know that not everyone is like I was. And that a baby is going to force the issue. They are both going to have to grow up faster than I did.

I a happy and excited for me and freakng out for them. They have lost all chance of things being easy. When they want something for their future they will have to work twice as hard as I did.

I will be there. As much as I can. As much as they will accept me.  I am there.

... So that is why I have not written. I do not know who reads this.  I hope you understand that it is supposed to be a secret

How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy that I will be committed) Part 5

Let's talk about school lunches.

I will admit, I don't love doing it so he took over. (I guided him into taking over?)

That is one point for CH and a big fat zero for me on the good parent charts.  It's okay, I am ahead by miles and he deserves to catch up. ;)

The fact of the matter is, when we both did it, the Shorties always said his lunches were better. So I thought, what the heck.  He can do it and everyone is happy.

Except for maybe him.

Which might explain why there is garbage on the counter every morning.

Every morning. The plastic from the juice boxes, empty granola bar boxes or cookies bags (that's right folks, my kids get a healthy dose of store bought crap in their lunches!)

Every morning, when I am awake enough to put the kettle on, I go into the kitchen and there it is.  Garbage. Waiting for me. Taunting me to pick it up.

And I do, but...

I am sure this is how CH is retaliating against me... trying to make me crazy....

Or maybe I am wrong, it could just be that his house keeping skills are still, after ten years, similar to the skills he had when he lived alone and I have apparently taught him nothing...

If I've said it once, I've said it five times.  I saw his apartment and I married him anyway.  ;)

Have a super fabulously wonderful day - Tina. :o)

Random Bits of Happiness

{via}

Well, it's been an interesting weekend.

It was The Little Man's birthday and there were a crap load of 10/11 year old boys here over night.  I am such a good  Mum (toot toot) - although CH is the one who stays up and then wrangles them all to sleep I even did that this weekend.  Not that there was much wrangling, I they were actually better than I expected and settled down by about 2 am.  (And yes Mum if you are reading this I know that is too late for 'little' kids to stay up.)

I found a pictorial tutorial on Pinterest that shows how I do my zipper pockets.  It is super easy, I was terrified of zipper pockets until I tried this and now I put them in all my bags.  The only part that ever gives me any trouble is getting the zipper to be in the exact right spot.  I am kind of funny that way.

I finished up some bags I was making this week and am working on some decorated zipper pouches. My friend Krista - who is an amazing photographer of inanimate objects - is going to take some product shots for me to create a portfolio so I can send my stuff to some of the fancy consignment stores that are in this amazing, creative province of ours. I will make sure I post them and put my money where my mouth is.  I know I talk a lot about my sewing but do not show much of the proof.  You can see some of my stuff here.

I have been a sewing machine lately. I have been feeling very lazy and unorganized, and that seems to be all I really want to do.  When I became semi-retired I became a horrible time waster.  It takes me twice as long to do everything!

{via}

Since I did not really do anything new this week, I will share some of my pins with you.  :)

{via}

When I showed this one to Penelope - she said.  "Oh, I could totally use that!'  She is so odd - I love that about her.  She did not think it was weird at all, only useful. I suppose that if I were 7 and constantly eating my own hair I might see the practical rather than the comedic value of such a device.

I actually went to the app store and downloaded Web MD to see if this is the result that I got - and it was!

What was I saying about wasting time....

 ;o)  Tina

How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy that I will be committed) Part 4

Jam on the counter.

Almost everyday.

A big glob of peach - and therefore somewhat transparent and camouflage - jam on the counter.

Today I put my phone in it. I loved that.

Some days I spot it before and just clean it up.

If I said anything about it, he would act all surprised like there is no possible way he could have done that and not noticed; yet there is is, almost everyday.  Peach jam.  On my counter.

Have a different late night snack.  Like an apple. Thanks.

I have said it once, and I will say it again. I did see his apartment and I married him anyway...

:o)  Tina

PS  Love you CH, you know I do.  :oP

Eleven Years Goes By WAY Too Quickly

Tomorrow is the eleventh anniversary of my becoming a mother, aka The Little Man's birthday.

Every year I feel a little traumatized by that.

I crawled in bed with him tonight and cried as I told him that when he was born I was so amazed at how intensely I loved him.

That I never knew that there was a love like that.

He says "So you don't love me at all." and laughs, because he knows that I am being crazy and emotional and that I love him more than words could ever say.

Happy Birthday Buddy.  You are my world.