Monday, May 27, 2013

A Storm is Brewing

Over the weekend, I had some time to talk some things out with a friend who I feel is wiser - she is older than me and that is usually how these things work. She is in similar circumstances in that her husband had an accident and is not longer the man she married as a result of it.  Mine too.

Over the last few years it has been a constant struggle for me with CH.  After speaking to my friend, I feel like I understand a bit better and so I decided that I was going to try to help... I asked him if he would go to counselling   Okay, maybe I suggested, strongly, that he go. And I told him why. Now I will tell you.

He sleeps - or lies down and appears to be sleeping - for the vast majority of everyday. He wakes up at 7 and gets us going and is back to bed by about 8:30 every morning. He is almost always sleeping when I leave for work at 10 and if I happen to call home during the day his voice sounds gravely as if I have woken him up more often than not.

He does not often take his meals with us - because he is laying down 'resting his neck' - and then eats sweets, baked goods  and peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner at 11 - all while laying down.

He complains almost every morning that he did not sleep.  Even though chances are he fell asleep on the couch or upstairs putting the kids to bed and slept for 2-4 hours before I went to bed and took him with me. Not to mention the fact that he slept or was laying down 'resting his neck' for the vast majority of the day.

He is constantly agitated and snappy.  When confronted with this he gets angry and belligerent and denies it.  When I tried to talk to him this even he denied all of what I have just said.

I do not know what to do.  How can I make him understand without making it worse for my children.  He is not setting a good example for them. He is not fun to be with, ever, anymore.  He is not happy... and it is making me unhappy with him.

I will make an appointment for him tomorrow and hopefully he will go and things for him - and then us - will get better.

I need to add that, I am not unhappy in general.  In fact, I am very very happy.  Things are going so well and so smoothly.  I am in a really good place - I would just like it if he were in it with me.

:)  Tina

1 comment:

  1. He sounds very depressed, my dear. Counselling, and a visit to the doctor, would be my recommendation. I'm really sorry that you are all going through this - kids want a connected dad and you have to hold them all together as their mum and that makes it very, very hard.

    But at the end of the day, only HE can get himself out of the place he is in - no amount of begging and pleading on your behalf will change that.

    Good luck with your appointment - keep showing your children how to live a full and happy life, with or without the support of your husband.

    Take care

    Suzie

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