Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Sorry.  I have been busy. And quite honestly a little bi-polar and didn't want to spread it around.  I have a loan that I cannot afford the payments for and need to re-do my mortgage so that I can afford to live in my house and work this low (read no) pay job and I am super stressed about it as my credit (thanks to a divorce and then starting a business in a downward spiraling economy) is in the toilet...  see this is why no post.  Hate to be grumpy and complain - dump my crap in your lap  - so I was avoiding BUT Nag (my new name for Jen) keeps asking (nagging, some might say) about a new post and since I have been slacking I have been starting to worry that you won't want come to read anymore. Don't worry I have an appointment with my councilor tomorrow.

Aside:  I have tell you I am sitting at my desk in my new pink office (thank you PITA) surrounded by a huge mess of stuff (thank you again, PITA) that needs to be unpacked and sorted through and at the same time straightening my hair, using my iPhone as a mirror. And those who know me think I can't multitask!  (which is true in the case of chewing gum)  :o)

So I have been a bit gloomy but I have taken a few really great photos with my iPhone and the help of Instagram.  See....

On Monday CH cooked dinner for the whole family... grilled cheese.  Yummy.

We gave all the rooms at the new shop names, this is the fabric room.

First finished quilt to leave the new shop.  It was a kit put together by one of our
Wilters and machine quilted by me.

This is the hallway at the shop which leads to the notions room , the needlework
room, my office and the family room.  We call it the magical hallway.

Outside the family room window last Friday night after Quilt Til You Wilt.

The Sports Hall of Fame at the Trail Memorial Centre

The dark corner of the fabric room....  CH just brought a really cool
old light to hang in this corner... 
So Nag, hope you are satisfied.

:o)  Tina

Monday, February 20, 2012

Stumbled Upon - 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Found this link through a post by an acquaintance on Facebook and thought it was fabulous.  Copied and pasted to be my goal list for this year! Enjoy.

Here are the first couple to get you started, check out the rest here.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

I did this from about 15 to 29 when my life took a tumble and I came out on top - with none of my "friends".  It was awful and 10 years later I am still bitter but I am glad that they all deserted me and left me to learn to stand up on my own two feet and taught me not to expect much from anyone other than myself. I feel like the people I have in my life right now wouldn't let me down....  I hope I never have to test this theory.

2. Stop running from your problems. Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

I am pretty good about this for the most part but when it comes to money I run and run and run some more.  I have dug myself into a hole and I am going to dig out this year!! No more running and hiding for this girl, I am going to pull up my big girl panties and get a part time job to pull myself out of this rut that my bank balance has gotten into.

3. Stop lying to yourself. You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

I am going to get a copy of this and read it on my phone.  I don't like CH to know when I am reading self help books - I don't want him to make fun of me.  :p

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Bahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha.  Bahahahahaha.  I am a Mum.  I want to be on the back burner for the shorties (even the taller than me shorties) when they need me to be.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

I like me but I would like me with a little more financial security and a little less of a spare tire even better. :o)

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

With some things, I am really good at this.  Josh for example - the past is gone.  All I needed was his smile and to know that he loves me as much as I love him - even without him saying it.  But then there are other hurts that I carry around with me - some of them very old, most of them actually; that I can't seem to just set aside.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

I a firm believer that everything happens for a reason even when you sometimes do not see that right away.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Oh so true yet somehow, sometimes oh so hard to remember.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

I am pretty sure I am good about this.  I, as Pisces, sometimes have a hard time not taking on the moods others but that is different.  I happy, because I am happy with myself and my super ultra amazing life and the wonderful people in it.

11. Stop being idle. Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

I am very rarely idol but I do find that when I am my mind starts to wander in directions that are not always... happy.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

This is kind of how it feels to have Josh home after two and half years of very little contact.  I am excited and nervous.  I am not sure what to expect.

This also makes me think of having kids - you are NEVER ready even when you think you are.  it is so not comfortable but so freakin's amazing.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Being happily married (ehem) I cannot really comment of this although it is good advice.  :o)

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

I am guilty of this for sure. After being deserted by the people I thought to be my friends when my life was at it's most difficult I have a really really hard time calling anyone my friend.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Competition makes me feel icky, yet I cannot keep myself from wanting to know what everyone else is doing.  I am going to have to keep these two at the top of my mind.

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

I think I am pretty good at finding a silver lining... most of the time.  :o)

18. Stop holding grudges. Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

I do hold grudges, and not for anything current.  Although The One Whose Name We Do Not Speak is off my friends list for life that is less of a grudge and more ejecting someone who does not deserve to have me, CH, or my shorties in her life and holding onto the little ember of hurt so that I do not forget and put my guard down again.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

I strive to do this with CH but sometimes it feels like running in water. Not that his standards are low, it is more his self esteem and his belief in his own abilities.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

I am so bad for this.  I rarely even take a proper lunch break.  If there is one thing I would really love to do it is to learn to achieve a sense of balance, perhaps go for a walk at lunch.  Stop thinking about work once I reach home...

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

I have days where I sit back and sigh and am so so grateful for everything I have and then I have other days where I do not slow down and smell the roses even for a minute - I really don't want to have any more days like that as they seem to form line and are sometimes strung together in weeks and months depending on my stress load...

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

I really need to work on this...

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
I never used to be someone who took the easy way but over the last couple of years - literally 3 years maybe - I have become that person.  I feel like I rocked the boat hard and am a little afraid to do it again.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

:o( Every once in a while I have a melt down - 99.8% of the time it is too Brandi about the only two things in my life that cause me any pain or stress:  CH and $$$.  Having said that, the last meltdown I had was on Jen.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop?  It really is all CH's fault.  :p

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Narrow my focus?  Are you nuts?

28. Stop worrying so much. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

This is SO part of my 2012 plan.  I need to prioritize what needs to be worried about and grow some hair.  :o)

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

The Secret.  I used to follow and believe and then I got lazy...

30 .Stop being ungrateful. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

On the bottom of all of my outgoing emails:

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Have a most wonderful day.

:o) Tina

Sunday, February 19, 2012


Photo pinch from
I saw a robin yesterday - even with the snow we have had over the last two days - there she was.

It is a sign.  Spring will be here SOON!

I am looking forward to it.  It has been a long winter (maybe not really).  Seeing her made me crave the beach...

:o)  Tina

Friday, February 17, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

Well, it's Friday. I almost didn't participate in this week's blanks due to the subject matter, but I will. I just wasn't sure if I could come up with anything anybody would want to read...

1. The love of my life is of course, CH. :p

2. Falling in love is like being hit with a cast iron frying pan. Totally knocks you off your feet and changes everything going on inside your head.

3. Marriage is for me, like a snuggly warm blanket that will always make you feel safe and comfortable even on the worst possible day.

4. The longest relationship I've ever had was 38 11/12 years - with my parents!

5. The key to a good relationship is team work - commitment, communication, and respect (and some good hanky panky every once in a while). If you can't work as a team you are doomed. CH and I bicker ALL THE TIME but we are awesome Good Cop/Bad Cop and even better at coming together in a crisis.

6. I feel loved when someone does something thoughtful for me. I often feel like I am always doing for everyone (I am a mother and wife after all) and I appreciate it SO much when someone does something for me. Just for me.  For example, if I were to go home tonight and CH had cleaned up the house and got something simple and yummy going for dinner I would be so happy. Or if PITA came into work and brought me a present - something that she made that she saw on Pinterest perhaps - I would be over the moon. It doesn't take much. Just small random acts of niceness.

7. My favorite quote about love is ...I have so many! But I really love song lyrics so here are just a couple. It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along, yeah.  My heart is full and my door's always open, you can come anytime you want." or "In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me. I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me. I can stay right here forever in your arms."  I could probably come up with about 95 more as the entire playlist on my iPod is made up of lovey songs but I won't bore you further.  :o) 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Sometimes I wonder.  Could life get any better?  I think not, my life is fabulous.  The only thing I ever really need to worry about is money and that doesn't buy happiness - not even a little bit.  I had it before and it didn't make me happy, I was still searching. Now I have found it and I am going to hold on tight and pray everyday that I get to keep it.

Have a fabulous - and grateful - day.

:o)  Tina

Sunday, February 12, 2012

He's Home... Well Sort Of...

Josh. After more than two years, Josh has come home.  Well, to Grandpa's but I am hoping it is only a matter of time.  There is water under the bridge - a lot of water - but over time the water has become clear and we are happy to have him.  So happy to have him.  The child I never gave birth too but love totally unconditionally is back in my life. Yeah!

I am not going to dredge up our history - not here or with him.  We both made mistakes. We have grown and changed.  Separately so that we could come together.  We have forgiven but not forgotten the lessons we learned. My experiences with him have taught me so much about humility, parenting, and myself.  About the love you have for a child. About being hurt so deeply you think you may never heal and being surprised that all it takes for that wound to become an old scar is an unspoken forgiveness and nice long comfortable hug.

My son.  Josh.

Josh (totally letting me take a photo of him, even smiling his beautiful smile) and Penelope.  :o)
Have a wonderful Sunday evening.

:o)  Tina

Saturday, February 11, 2012

You Have Never Mentioned You Have Your Cup Addiction Either

As mentioned on last week's Fill in the Blank Friday, I have never talked my cup addiction.  Well, I suppose it is time to let you in on yet another odd thing about me.

The thing is, that it is not so much an addiction as a quirk.  I have a mug that I use - and I do not use it for anything other than my Tetley (which is the actual addiction) BUT, I would not, could not use it for anything else and have specific mugs I use for other things such as Herbal tea, hot chocolate, water, milk - they all have their own mug or glass. I have almost the exact same mug at the shop that I have at home, just different colors. Is that weird?  I don't think it is weird.  The weird part comes when someone wants to use my cup or worse, uses it without asking... it is Ativan inducing.  I don't even know what to do with myself.  I am not even joking.  Pretty sure PITA understands...

This mug is by John Feesey of Cypress Pottery in Rossland, BC.
Blue one at the shop, green one at home.
Huge, keeps the tea hot for a long time.
Got my first on trade.  Second and third cost me $22 each but so worth it
Seriously the perfect mug.
The thing about me is that I am really easy going about like 95% of things.  The other 5% - NOT AT ALL.  And unless you know me inside out and backwards there is absolutely no way to predict what these things may be.

:o)  Tina

Friday, February 10, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

Happy Friday!! this weekend is the Little Man's birthday party... should be interesting - more than one tween boy at a time can be challenging to the ear drums.  I always imagined myself with lots of kids, I guess I imagined girls - quiet girls. :o)

1. I started my blog because I thought it would bring traffic to my online store - which I have since put on temporary hold. Funny thing is, I almost never talk about my creative side or the shop and more often than not use it as a place to talk about things in my life - happy or sad.  It has become my favorite place to experiment with writing, to talk about what is bothering me, to share something funny, and to, as corny as it is, just be me.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs are stories that are real and vulnerable and show me that the author of the blog's life is not perfect, you know, the blogs where people share little parts of their lives and it makes you feel as if you are getting to know them and that you are not the only one who struggles a little bit each day.  The perfection of others makes me feel even less perfect.  At 38 and 11/12 you think I would be over my insecurities, but alas I am not.  I really like to browse creative blogs with lots of great toots and images, one of my favorites is How About Orange which I have not been visiting as much since Pinterest took over my life.

3. Something I love about blogging is that it is comfortable place share and vent and put the inner me out there with little danger of repercussion or judgement. Although, last week I heard the horrible news that The One Whose Name We Dare Not Speak has read my blog, but other than mentioning it to PITA she hasn't said anything to me - if she called I would not answer so perhaps she has not bothered.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably the day I made a request for a Pinterest invite and got one right away. Lame, I know. I just REALLY love Pinterest. PITA's list of things about me would be my favorite but she hasn't handed it over yet.  (PS I would love to pay it forward so if you are still trying to get invited, message me and I will happily share.)

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog is ... I have to ask them cause I think that I am pretty open here. So I just asked Jen who is sitting across the room from me and she said that I have "quite a sense of humor" and here I thought I was the only one who thought I was funny! When I told her that I had mentioned that here before she said, "Well, you are much more compassionate than you let on." (sshh don't tell) and then she said "You have never mentioned your cup addiction either." Hahahahaha.  That my bloggy friends is a whole blog post in itself!

6. My new favorite blogs to read are mostly those which I covet and aspire to be. I have not been spending my usual 40 hours a week in front of the computer so I would have to get back to you on the specifics of this one.

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are being  vulgar.  I can handle negative cause no day is perfect - especially in my poverty stricken, husband on a disability, teenagers who hate me, parents who are on the verge of disowning me (over money), family members who are evil, etc. world.  Despite all of these things, I do see the silver lining more often than not but if you do not get to see both sides you do not get to see the big picture.  Having said all of that, you don't need to see it with anything beyond a PG rating.

Have a wonderful Friday!  :o) Tina

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Brought to My Attention

It was brought to my attention some time ago (via PITA who heard all about it from the one whose name we do not say) that there is no mention of my two eldest children on my blog.  The thing is, is that they are my step children and they see me as the wicked step mother and have little to do with me - and sadly their Dad and their little sibs.

I love them very much, to say that I love them as if they were my own children would be a lie.  I don't.  They are not my children, they have a mother. She knows them just as I know my two biological children.  She held their hands and cleaned their dirty bums.  She has birth stories and pregnancy stories, I do not.  I do love them but is different. It is much more complicated and it is a choice.

When I was in my 20s I had my palm read several times and each time I was told I would have four or five children and on one occasion that I would "have two at the same time" which I always took to mean twins.  Since I got Josh and John I have always considered them the children I got at the same time.  They were six and nine (very close to 10) when I got them - which is the same age that the Little Man and Penelope are now which brings me a lot of clarity and with that, some regret.  I can see where I made mistakes with them - expecting too much and demanding respect.  I did not know.

Having said all of that, I have not written about them because to be honest, I am not sure what to write.  It is a touchy subject.  They are both introverts and I do not know them very well and have seen very little of them in the last couple of years.  When I have seen them it has, lets just say, not gone well.

So, the reason this is coming up is that Josh, the oldest one who I have had the most conflict with has recently (today actually) moved in with Grandpa.  I am worried.  I am happy but I am worried.  He can be pretty unpleasant but he can also be really sweet and funny.  Will the raging hormonal teenagerness given way to the man who lies in wait.  I can hope.

:o) Tina

Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Funny Story

So, if you know me, you know I do not fart (unless I am asleep and then apparently I am an orchestra all night long).  In the summer when we were at Boundary Bay, I passed gas and CH and the shorties laughed for like a half hour.  If you bring it up them will still laugh. No kidding.

This evening on our way home from the Smokies game (which they won 5 to 3. Woot! Woot!), the shorties and I were waiting in the truck for CH who had to run into Safeway to grab milk and this is the conversation that took place:

Me:  I'm gassy.
The Little Man:  What does that mean?
Me:  I'm farting.
The Little Man:  Seriously?
Me: Haha. No. I need to but I am holding it in.
Penelope:  That's girly.  Good job Mummy.

Hahahahaha.  Since then I can not stop thinking about how great my life is.  Best night ever - but maybe not as good as PITA's will be since it is clean sheet night.  ;o)

:o)  Tina

Friday, February 3, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

1. If money wasn't an issue, the first thing I'd cross of my life list is taking a global cruise. I could really use a vacation and that is something I really want to do.

2. Mustard on french fries is something I like that other people think is weird. That and about 20 million other things. :o)

3. If my life were a movie right now, the title would be She Works Hard for Her Money.

4. Three things I am looking forward to this month are being settled in the new shop, going to a Smokies game on Satruday and the big pot of soup my Mum is making me tomorrow.

5. My favorite songs to sing in the shower is anything heartfelt. This morning it was the Dixie Chicks!

6. If I found out that the production of Tetley Orange Pekoe Tea (or China Lily Soya Sauce) was ending this month, I'd go out and buy as much as I could tomorrow.

7. One thing I'll never grow tired of is hanging out with my family. LOVE them!

So busy. Must sleep.

:o) Tina

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Today is the Little Man's birthday.  I should be happy but it always makes me so sad... we went through so much (I tell you about it later).  Sure glad I have him though.  I couldn't love anyone more than I love the two of them.  They are my right and left hands.  God, thank you for this day, ten years ago, when you made me a mother.

:o) Tina

I told everyone his face was the size of a loonie. :o)

3 pounds 6.8 ounces - ten years later 4' 9" and 112 pounds.  :o)