I Am a Sensitive Kind of Guy

I need to re-post about last nights events.  I spoke out of anger - a lot of anger - I was defending my child.  I may have said some things that - although true - were really none of anybody's business.  I did not expect any sort of retaliation - he was the one who was horrible to my son, I am the one who has the right to be angry. Not him.

I know that sometimes I can go off a little more than I should...  but I always, always, do my very best to take the feelings of others into consideration.  My May 12, 2011 post could have been so much worse, had I said what I actually think. What I was actually feeling at the time. I am sorry if I have offended anyone to the point of them feeling that they need to lash out and hurt back. Grow up.  Put on your big kid pants and play like an adult.

And above all else, be NICE!

:o( Tina

The Hypocrite Game

My brother has a crazy ex-wife.  I think we all have a crazy somewhere in our closet.  I have two H1 and CH!  Hahaha.  But really he does.

So here is tonight's story.  Long story, so pay attention.

The Little Man and my brother's daughter have a lot of conflict.  Part of that conflict comes, I think, from a sibling rivalry that has developed between them as a result of my Mum mothering her because the ex-wife was too unstable to do it for a few years so my (sweet, big hearted, sometimes a little nonsensical) brother had custody and a job that took him away a fair bit.  I think the other part of it is personality.  She pushes his buttons over and over again and he retaliates, as boys do - with physical force.  He is a strong personality and intolerant and she is a strong personality and manipulative and all of that put together does not always mesh well.  Keeping in mind that these two are 10. 10 people.

So tonight, I am talking to Nag via FB chat:

Nag: JH Waiting for the crap to hit the fan when Emily's cousin whines to his mother that I gave him hell for trying to force his way into my house. Bring it on. I'm tired of that little bully.

Me: ? What

Nag: that was JH's status..... anything to do with your side?

Since we are the ONLY side, there was then a lot of me freaking out and swearing and typing in all caps.  Mumma bear instinct kicked in at 100%.

I asked Nag to ask him to remove his status.  He didn't.  I sent him the following message:

I was informed of your status and would appreciate your taking it off. 

If there is a problem please call me at 250-364-1646 rather than making accusations about a 10 year old on a public forum. Please remember that there are 2 sides to every story.

If you do not remove it, I will assume you would like me to come over to discuss it.

Thank you, Tina

Nag and I continued to converse.  Me with a lot of swearing and typing in all caps.

I went and got the story from The Little Man who was in his room feeling like a turd and feeling very confused because I totally lost on it on him - which I never do - and, as I was to find out because of the way he was treated by my niece and subsequently JH.  My niece stole money from The Little Man ($1, but with him it is the principle of the matter and I suppose when you are 10, $1 is substantial), he followed her home to her mother's (the ex-wife), she (the niece) told him to get off their property and then went in the house.  He went and knocked on the door and asked for his money back and JH, the ex-wife's boyfriend, kicked him out.  He went to get his friend as a witness and when he arrived back there, he was given the money back and told by JH that he would make sure he never set foot on his property again.  By this time, I am so totally beside myself I am ready to get into the car and drive over there and beat the tar out of this 40ish man for trying to intimidate my 10 year old son.  I was PISSED.

While The Little Man and I were talking, JH responded.  This is what he wrote.

Hello, Tina.

First of all, this is a private page, viewable not to the public but to friends who I've added. Secondly, I did not identify your son by name, nor did I identify yourself. I referred to him as "Emily's cousin." Thirdly, you yourself should remember that there are two sides to every story considering that on 12 May, 2011, on your own personal blog, which is indeed visible to the general public, you made baseless comments about my partner, at which time you mentioned no names. Although referring to said person as "your little brother's ex-wife" isn't exactly the best way to maintain an air of discretion.

Now, if you'd like to stop playing the hypocrite game, and remove your post about Heather from your public blog, I'll remove the post about your son from my private facebook page.

Regarding your son, yes, he and Emily had a disagreement in which Emily allegedly took $1 more from Dominic than she was offered. Her mother and I had Emily give the whole $2 back. End of discussion. Regarding him trying to chase after Emily into my house and force his way past the front door, I sent him off the property and advised him that he is not welcome in my home or on my property.

I, Heather, and Emily's father are tired with and frustrated by the constant bullying your son does to Emily, be it at school, in private, or at the aquatic centre. And I will certainly not allow it to continue in or near my home.

Very well written.  I have to say I was taken off guard by that.  The ex-wife, scored herself someone with a brain.  So I wrote another, long angry message back.  I took the high road (thank CH for that) and I didn't send it.  But I did copy and past it so you can read it and I can feel a little bit of vindication.

So what I wrote was this:

Clearly you were looking for a fight with me when you posted your status, I am so sorry but I am going to resist providing you with it. It is difficult and I want to, but I won't.

If your status is not gone by the morning, I will call the police and see what recourse there is, if any. I would hope that you take the adult approach to the situation and remove a slanderous comment made about a 10 year old.

What I wrote first but did not send was this:

Clearly you were looking for a fight with me when you posted your status, I am so sorry that I cannot resist providing you with it.

Remove your status or I am calling the police. I will not have you slander my child. He is 10. Heather is an adult. And it is pretty obvious who you are talking about as well as Emily does not have any other cousins in Trail.

Baseless? Are you serious. You forget that Heather was a member of this family for several years. In my experience she IS unstable for example, she tried to kill herself - more than once from what I understand - but the incident I am referring to is the time Emily was there - alone. That is pretty unstable. In my experience she IS malicious for example, her treatment of my brother - her husband and the father of her child - the way she went about ending the relationship, the way that she treated him and the things that she said to him when they were together. Malicious. And I know she has been to you as well Jason, Emily is not a secret keeper.

Having said all of that, Emily and Dominic do not get along. Period. She pushes his buttons and he reacts. That is how it has always been. Dominic is a child and cannot be expected to be in control of how he reacts when provoked, I think he takes a lot from her. Knowing Emily as I do, I am surprised that it does not happen more often. None of this excuses the way that you treated him this evening when he was at your home.

Dominic has been told that from now on he is to treat Emily as if she were a stranger. He is not to talk to her or acknowledge her in any way. I am going into the school tomorrow to talk to their teacher and the principal to let them both know that this is the new status quo. I will not allow it to continue as Dominic's mother I am not going to tolerate his being shouldered with all of responsibility and blame.

If your status is not gone by the morning, I will call the police and see what recourse there is, if any. I would hope that you take the adult approach to the situation.

When I make new friends, I always tell them that one thing they need to know about me is that I am always late.  I think they need to know two things.  That I am late, and that I am extremely loyal and demand the same.

So anyway, the saga continues:

JH: Would you mind explaining what part of the comment is slanderous?

Me: As previously stated, I am refusing to be goaded into an argument. I am not 10, and my buttons are not so easily pushed.

If you would like to discuss this like an adult I can be reached at 250-364-1646 or you can call me tomorrow at work 250-364-1274 or on my cell phone at 250-368-7607 or you can even come over or stop by the shop to chat.

Perhaps if a face to face visit is a route you would like to explore, we can have the kids present to offer both sides of this on going story and settle it once and for good.

JH: And what about your comments about Heather on your blog? I would say there is more slander in that than anything I happend to put in my comment. As well, you use quite clear identifiers.

And allow me to add, in my honest opinion which I am entitled to under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, section 2(b), and not as a statement which could be considered libel (or as you incorrectly refered to as, slander), it is my personal -opinion- that you and your entire family are nothing but bullies.

Again, I propose that in exchange for taking down your comment obviously refering to Heather in your public blog, I will remove my status from my private page.

Me: As previously stated, I am refusing to be goaded into an argument. I am not 10, and my buttons are not so easily pushed.

If you would like to discuss this like an adult I can be reached at 250-364-1646 or you can call me tomorrow at work 250-364-1274 or on my cell phone at 250-368-7607 or you can even come over or stop by the shop to chat.

Perhaps if a face to face visit is a route you would like to explore, we can have the kids present to offer both sides of this on going story and settle it once and for good.

JH: No thank you. Good night.

Me: That's is what I thought.

As a result I got nothing sewn and I am totally exhausted.  The worst?  I am sad for my poor son. This is making me tired.

What a night.  Stupid ex-wife's not so nice, apparently likes to pick on 10 year old boys, boyfriend (whose the bully now?).  Obviously he does not know me or my family - none of us are bullies.  My Mum and my brother are the wimpiest of wimps and my Dad chooses to avoid at almost all cost.  CH is somewhere between me and my Dad.  Penelope not even worth talking about.  Me and Josh have a big mouths and we know how to use them but that is where is ends.  And The Little Man, he is a little boy.  Period.  I am still pretty mad and it has been hours.  I think I need another cup of tea and some more chocolate...

:o) Tina

P.S.  JH, if you are reading this thank you for the material and thank you also for adding to my stats!  :o)

The Shorties

Source: spirituallythinking.blogspot.com via Tina on Pinterest

Sometimes she just talks and talks and talks and my attention wavers and I realize the last sentence had a question mark on the end of it and she waiting for an answer...

:o) Tina

Fill in the Blank Friday

I have had a really busy week. Craft fairs, doctor and massage appointments, a quick road trip and a day off. I spent a total of about 2 hours in the shop this week and very little time sewing. Too bad because I am working on a really great bag but have not managed to squeeze it in - I was hoping to have it for the craft fair I am in right now (it is a long one - Wednesday to Sunday). Who knows we will see what I get tonight after I drag myself away from my beloved internet. There is no WiFi where I am, so I copied and pasted this morning so that I had something to do during the quiet times and so that I actually did have time to sew tonight if I had it in me. ;) Pretty smart, huh?

1. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is rotate my ankles and flex my feet until they wake up too. Since forever, I have had sore feet now that I am so ancient they require some TLC in the morning. It takes me a really long time to wake up in the morning – feet aside – I don’t even open my eyes until I have been awake for at least five minutes.

2. I can hardly wait for summertime and lazy days at the beach. I love the beach. I also love when the kids are not at school – I like to have them to myself and not share them with the school district and all of their activities.

3. The quickest way to my heart is to do something kind and unexpected for me because I often feel so neglected by CH that it is really nice to know that someone – anyone at all – thinks of me. PITA can generally be counted on for surprise gifts – she gets it from her Grandma – and I really value and appreciate that. It always makes me feel a little weepy in a good way. :o)

4. A little known fact about me is that I have huge issues with OCD. I had it under control for a few years but it seems to be coming back in full force. I have a list a mile long of pet peeves to go with it – the number one thing on the list is the sound of crinkling paper or plastic. One day, I will be imprisoned for murder (or at the very least assault and battery) when I take CH’s evening candy – bag and all of course - and cram it up his big honkin’ nose! (This is not a little know issue to my inner circle - if you are there, you already know I am a little bit crazy.)

5. The best part about my job is I can come and go as I please and always be accessible to the shorties and free to do things that I want or need to do.  I practically take summers off.  Having said all of that the pay couldn't really be any worse.

6. Something I just couldn't live without is my sewing machine. Does this require an explanation??

7. Something useful that I wish I knew how to do is operate power tools. CH and PITA are not always available for my use and it would be so much easier if I could just do it!

:o) Tina

Wordless Wednesday

I Feel a Blog Post Coming On

I think I am a much better blogger when something makes me stressed or sad than happy.  When it is all good, I am too busy enjoying it to blog...

I am fine.  Don't worry.  I am just tired of being poor. And I am tried of trying to find a way to not be poor.  If anyone has any ideas for anything I could do to add to my business or as an aside from my business PLEASE tell me - this family needs more of an income!  We are coasting along but that is it and being stressed about it has caused me to miss so much.  I need another revenue stream, and I need it soon or this ship is in danger of sinking...  McDonald's here I come...

So my friend Jessie's brother (you got that?) was telling me that he knows some people in the UK who have a dozen or so websites and make like $6000 a week from Google Ad-words!  I suppose if I did not do everything in such a personal way, that I may be able to make it a little more profitable.  I don't know but I like to do everything with love and pride and apparently way too much heart.

What brought on this round of self pity?  I took Victoria to dance.  I hate taking Victoria too dance.  It makes me feel poor, inadequate and helpless.

Yesterday while cleaning off the front porch - which was cluttered with an enormous amount of garbage - I just about fell through the floor!  CH was not surprised (which added to the good time!) and said that he knew it was there. Not too sure where we are getting the money to fix that. Crap.

There are just too many bills left at the end of the money.  I need a job.  That scares me a little.  I think I am too bipolar for a real job.  Maybe it is just the stress since CH went on disability, but I have such a hard time feeling happy all of the time the last couple of years.  It feels like work, when it used to be so natural.

Having said all of that, I am going to take this one step further by simply saying that I think part of my difficulty with this is that I, simply, did not picture my life as being such a struggle.  I thought that I would have it easier.  I really did.  I always assumed working would be optional for me - I am the Mum.  I need to just suck it up and stop feeling sorry about it and CHANGE IT.  I always say, "If you don't like your life, change it."  I need to take my own crappy advice and find a way - where there is a will there is a way (I always say that too).

If you have a job or a job idea for me (preferably a clerical rather than service type job, due to the bipolarism) please contact me!

:o)  Tina

Fill in the Blank Friday

It's official. Two weeks in a row I am a terrible blogger.  This week my only excuse is that I have been doing real work when I am at my computer - I am finally conquering my pile and can see more of my office floor everyday!  :o)

1. Today is a great day because, everyday that I am alive and well and that my loved ones are alive and well is a good day and worth being grateful for.

2. Tomorrow I will be chillin' at the Bloomin' Creative craft fair. Come see me and my new owls!

Missing cute image of owls.  Stupid blogger.

3. My favorite time of day is the evening because it is the only time I get to really relax and be creative however I want to be.

4. Sometimes you just have to throw your head up and laugh at sky. Not for any reason - it just feels good!

5. A song that I just can't get enough of lately is "Give in to Me" from the movie Country Strong. The movie wasn't great but the sound track is fabulous. This song in particular. Love it.

Missing YouTube video of fabulous song.  Stupid blogger.

6. My favorite accessory is my kids! I love to take them with me everywhere I go. :o)

Who wouldn't want this handsome guy to everywhere with them.  :o)

7. My favorite thing about this week was taking Penelope to Walking Like the Big Girls, an event where girls her age (4-8) get to spend a couple of hours with the current ambassador (Miss Trail) and the coming year's candidates. PITA curled her hair and CH drove for an hour to buy her a dress that I saw last week when I was in Nelson. She looked amazing and I was SO proud of her. I love my boys but having a daughter is fabulous.

After PITA had performed her magic with the straightening (?) iron.

Before the curls, looking like a teenager (named John!)

Well, I really do need to get sewing. Maybe I will post tomorrow, but I am not making any promises!

xx :o) Tina

Wordless Wednesday

Source: fashionablygeek.com via Jacquie on Pinterest

Fill in the Blank Friday

I have been a terrible blogger this week, I just been too worn out to have anything to say.  Even tonight, it is 9:13 and I am ready to call it a night.  I am pooped out - I guess the car accident has sucked my energy for the moment, because I am tired and sore all the time.  By this time of the evening my neck is freakin' killing me - I am pretty sure it is CUM-UPINS for not having any sympathy for CH and his many woes. I am really happy though, I have a had a huge financial burden lifted late last week and it has been such a relief.

On another dismal note, it is 5 minutes into the 3rd period of the Canucks v. LA game, and they are losing by one.  CH and PITA's Dad are tense.  CH will swear and curse if they lose and I really hate that.  It is, after all just a game and that anger makes me feel tense.  It is similar to the way I feel when I wake up to him swearing - anxiety has become such a skeleton in my closet.  If I told him about this, he would be rude and say "whatever" instead of trying to understand.  I wish he would try to understand me and take care of my feelings a little.  Yickes, getting off the topic of Filling in the Blanks for Friday...

the little things we do

1. Today is a good day because when I was kissing everyone goodbye when they were leaving the shop this afternoon, Josh leaned in and gave me his cheek for his kiss. He has always been the most snugly of the three boys and it is so, so nice to have him back.

2. The best thing I did all week was take the day off and go on a mini road trip to Nelson with PITA and her lads.  It was a day well spent.  :o)

His incredible cuteness puts a huge lump in my throat.  I absolutely adore this child.

3. The current weather is beautiful and sunshiny and it makes me feel like turning over a new leaf - spring cleaning, weight loss, yard work, etc.  You know, all of those things that I never seem to find time for no matter what season it is.

4. The best thing about spring is that is starts to be beautiful again.  It is beautiful here in every season except for that period between snow melting and leaves sprouting which lasts 6 to 8 weeks but seems forever because it is SO dreary.  The tree outside my office window is sprouting buds.

The tree outside of my window in Winter

5. A fashion trend that I'm dying to try out for spring is tangerine. It will fit in nicely with all of my other brightly coloured clothes!

6. A person who made me smile this week was my children - all three of the ones that I are home.  It has been a nice week to be their mother.

7. The most delicious thing I ate all week was the Ms. Vickie's Sea Salt & Vinegar I had yesturday.  Pretty sad really, but yummers.

I am pooped. I am going to put the shorties to bed and go to bed myself.

Night. :o) Tina

Wordless Wednesday

Source: reddit.com via Jacquie on Pinterest

The weird things you see on the internet never cease to amaze me.

Sunday Sunday

I don't really have anything to say but I wanted to wish everyone a happy Easter!

Have a wonderful day, enjoy your family and friends and, like me, the day off!

I am going to sew.

:o)  Tina

Your Comments Please.

I started this blog as a tool to drive traffic to my online shop which is very ironic as I have temporarily closed the online shop and everything I do now is to drive traffic here - not for a monetary gain, just because it makes me feel good to have people reading what I wrote.  What would make me feel even better is comments!

I am up to an average of about 80 visitors a day - modest, but it makes me happy.  I rarely get comments.  Why?  Are my posts so boring that no one even reads to the end to click on the little "comments" button?  Are they so comprehensive and packaged full of information that no one has a question?  Are they so entertaining that you are laughing too hard to type?  All of those 80 readers cannot possibly be opinion-less!  What is it?  Please tell me, what do I need to do to get a comment or three around here???

:o)  Tina

Photo A Day, Day 3 and 4

Day 3, Mail

Outgoing Etsy orders.

Day 4, Someone Who Makes Me Happy

My beautiful ballerina.

:o)  Tina

Wordless Wednesday

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Photo a Day, Day 1 and 2

I hate to wait.  Hate it.  Well maybe hate is too strong a word (it is not one I like to use) but I do strongly dislike it. It is why I don't clean my oven - and I know that sounds like a really crappy excuse but it is the truth.  I can never wait for the Easy Off to do its job before I am in there scraping and scrubbing and breathing in all those toxic fumes and cursing myself for not waiting until the cleaner did its job.  Every time, I am not even joking.

I am currently sitting at my desk waiting for a phone call that I do not particularly want to have feeling as if I would like to take what is left of my bottle of Ativan and maybe a T3 or two to ease the pain created by my morning massage and my frayed nerves.   It is a phone call where I have to ask someone, who I love, who loves me by default (we are related) for help.  I strongly dislike asking for help as well.  (I sure have a lot of issues I am making a counseling appointment as I type!)

I still have not finished my 31 Days posts, but I promise you I am working on them and they are getting closer.  I made a list - that is always a good step in the right direction for me.  Today is the second day of photo a day, I suppose I need to catch up on that too!  I was down for the count yesterday with a nasty headache, the likes of which I have not felt since I discontued my wine habit back in 1999 or there abouts.

April 1st Photo - My Reflection

Looks like me.  Acts like me. He is a reflection of me (and I don't care if that is cheating!).

April 2nd Photo - Colour

I took this ages ago at a quilt show and have been waiting for the right time to use it.  I have another colour photo that I could have used but could not find it - I think it is lost in my old Instagram account - if I find it, I will post it later.

Anyway, I could go on and on just for the sake of rambling today, I have lots of nervous energy built up. You know, the kind that makes your feel like your whole body is stuffed with little fluttery birds and you have a hot brick on your neck.  Still waiting... once it is done, I will feel so much better.

I think I will go search for something funny for a wordless Wednesday post.

:o)  Tina