Monday, June 28, 2021

A lot of time has passed

I don’t even know where to begin I haven’t posted anything since 2014 on this particular blog, although I did have a different blog for a while I failed on that one too. I think maybe the best place to start is just from where I’m at now which is a really great place everything is going super. Steve and I are getting along better than we have an a like a decade, the kids are doing amazing, I don’t expect him to school September and 11 with like straight A’s. Dominic planning on becoming an RCMP officer and Victoria has her hopes around becoming an astrophysicist, I really feel like she should do something as a little bit more humanities base because she has a really deep understanding of people that never cease to amaze me. Me, well that’s kind of grown and changed happen for me and last for yourself, I close the shop which was really hard and really sucked and I was so pissed off at everyone in this town for so long. I worked as a bookkeeper for a mechanic for a while and he’s like mentally abusive but I stayed for like three years or something crazy because sometimes he would have a good day and he would be so fun and so just the best boss ever but you know it never really worked out so well I was working there I started working at hospice and trail, as a volunteer coordinator. Well that’s like about 10 block us all in a self but let’s just say I worked there for five years 5 1/2 actually and then last summer I took a leave initially for three weeks and next in three weeks it’ll be a year. It’s pretty much activates my relationship with Jen which I thought was impossibility, but at the same time it’s been really really good for me and Steve and it’s giving me more time to focus on school which is also new to help me. So now the bad stuff, and November 2017 completely unexpectedly, grandpa died. A week later, my dad was diagnosed with stage for pancreatic cancer and he died in January 2018. I don’t really remember any of 2018 or 2919 And I’m pretty sure the only reason I remember anything about 2020 is because of Covid. Covid sucks for a lot of people but for me and give me the opportunity to stay home and do the healing that I needed to do I kind of get my feet back under me, figure out what I wanna do with my next 50 years.


anyway so I signed up for a course that cost 20 bucks to do writing and provides a weekly prompt and I thought what the heck I’m totally doing this I love to write haven’t really done it in years I could post it on my blog. Well it took me like two hours to figure out how to get back on here things have changed a whole lot, since 2014. And like I said I didn’t have another blog for a little while on WordPress but I couldn’t really figure that out it was too complex for me I had a friend who helped me and then she started doing something else it just was too much and it was so beautiful because it was designed by that friend, I felt like every post to be perfect, and that really deterred me fromFrom the writing. So yeah I’m hoping to use my long since exists and I finally managed to get I got it to post my 52 pumps and we’ll see maybe I’ll do some other stuff on there to you I don’t think anybody really knows about it so in theory, all my secrets. My secrets.


for today I think I’ll start with one secret. Last night Steven and I moved the mattress from our bed onto the dining room floor and slept in here because it was way cooler. It’s like a jillion degrees out and it’s unbearable and are on air-conditioned house in our upstairs bedroom. Anyway I had a dream about I don’t really know what the dream was about, but it was featuring this guy that I have a fling with 1 million years ago when I was 19. I’m 48 now so that gives you some contact. Anyway I woke up feeling like I don’t know kind of weird like I’ve been thinking about him all day and talking about Facebook even though we’re not Facebook friends because I just can’t bring myself to go there maybe if I were one of these 48-year-old woman who looked like 1 million bucks but I’m not I have a man mom bun and a mom ass OK, so yeah. So just talking him on Facebook and trying to figure out what the hell it was it was making me feel so melancholy I realize it’s sleeping on the floor. He’s the only guy that I was ever with then I slept on the mattress on the floor with. I know that’s weird, but I just went out on my own and I haven’t bought a bed yet. So yeah I think that’s what made me dream about and it wasn’t anything specifically don’t even remember the dream I just wake up with him in my brain so anyway the secret I was really mean really really need them. And I’ve always regretted it because I really think that we could’ve had some thing I just wasn’t ready, wasn’t the right time. I just got out of a really bad three-year relationship and I need some time to spread my wings and know who I was before I settle down and any sort of relationship. By the time I was ready that’s cause I’m a such a horrible bitch to him and I always always felt bad about that.Yeah I don’t really know what else to say about that, he has white hair now but it’s away. He still has his temple style and that’s one of things I loved about him. I hope his wife appreciates him but, how to talk to the guy in 30 years maybe is raging asshole who knows anyway I will be back with my daily zoom prompt sometime in the not too distant future this is good I can totally get on board with talking to text get all my post done that I have to edit it may be on some kind of a pretty picture.