Sunday, December 30, 2012

In Closing

I read this on Facebook:
Important! Please make sure you "close out" your old year before you start planning the new one and falling into the "fresh start" energy. You can write a journal entry, make a list of what happened, observe the things you experienced, and think about what your role was. Remember that everything happens for a reason and you create your reality...so spend a little time contemplating why certain things showed up and others didn't.
I don't know who wrote it but it seemed like a good idea to reflect on my year - the intricacies, the ups downs and way downs... SO here goes.  I am not feeling so great so you won't be subjected to my usual over wordiness.  ;o)

January

rose table runnerFor New Year's 2012, I learned a valuable lesson about people.

They are not always as nice as they seem.  In October I was asked to make a table runner for a little old lady that I was quite fond of.  I finished it over Christmas and delivered it to her at the beginning of the year.  It did not go well, you can read about it here. It was not a very nice way to start the year.

Later in the month I decided to move the shop.  The new spot was like a little home away from home and could have been so great, but other things happened and everything changed...

handmade fairy quilt
First finished quilt to leave
our new location!

February

February was an action packed month.

The Little Man turned double digitsThe Mouth came home (and his girlfriend went to Calgary), and we moved the shop, it snowed a lot and we had our first Quilt Till You Wilt in our new spot.

It was lot for one month - and the shortest month of the year at that.



March

Not my best month of 2012...

I turned 39.  How can that even be?? I am now nearing my 40th birthday and have not even figured out how I can be as old at 39!

I attempted 31 Days of Pinterest - and would have pulled it off too if it was not for...

the pink eye that lead to the car accident...

And so there it is, the beginning of the end of one thing and I did not even see it until so much later...  


April

April was pretty quiet.

Went to massage a lot. A lot.  Also tried out the chiropractor - didn't like that although he was nice - and really cute. ;o)

Got in a war of words with my brother's x-wife's nasty current boyfriend via Facebook as he made a nasty comment - on Facebook - about my 10 year old son. Nice. I know.  You can read about it here, and here.

It would seem that even the quiet months have their drama.


Silver City Days
May



I made my first batch of baby owls and whole lotta bags.  It was the beginning of what is become something great for me!

It was Silver City Days and we had nice - albeit exhausting - family time.

Things were looking up, best month so far. :o)


June

I did more bag and owl sewing and began attending the farmer's market.

I was offered a part time job. Excited for a pay cheque. Terrified for the possibility of real life.

More importantly - we bought a TRAILER!  I wanted one for so, so long.  And now we have one. And I am happy!


July


I continued to sew a lot and attend the Trail Market every second Friday.  Bliss.

The Mouth went to Calgary with PITA and never came home.


August

More of the same in August.  I really did have a nice summer.

I joined a block swap - but I have not been very good a keeping up with it.  I am going to get caught up this week while school is still out - as soon as I get off the darn computer.


September

Seriously - grade 5 and 2.  Almost as unbelievable as my being 39.

I got my settlement for the accident and CH and I planned a trip to Calgary to see the Mouth and his boss.

I got a job.  And I love it. It is easy going and I can make my own hours.  I am happy.  I have a good feeling about this!


October

We went to Calgary for Thanksgiving.  We had a good time... it was relatively uneventful.  The Mouth's Boss was non-communicative.  It still bothers me.  

I went to family court with H1 this month as well.  The judge basically told him what I have been telling him.  Come and spend time with the child on his terms. For the love of God man, snap out of it!

The BIG decision was made.  I picked one of my kids up from somewhere and they were hungry and wanted a cheese burger from McDonald's - $1.49 cheese burger - and I was not sure if I had the money and right then and there I decided I was done with it.  Sugar Shack Quilting would no longer interfere in the lives of me or more my family... well once it was closed that is.


November

The big decision behind me, notice was given and the packing and sales began. I am still tired!  Totally could not have done it without my Mum.  Seems everyone else bailed - there in the good times, not so much in the less than good.  I get it, it is human nature.  I probably would have done the same and it is not the first time that my Mum has been the one holding me up when all I wanted was to lie down.

My house was packed to the rafters.  The main floor, literally, looked like an episode of Hoarders for about three weeks.  Now it is just the dining room and my future office.

The Mouth came home and we 'remodeled' the upstairs porch so that he could have a room.  Good times.


December

Christmas was my December. :o)

And now here I am feeling like it is already 2013 and there are still 2 days left of 2012!  I have plans and I am eager to get started!

:o)  Happy New Year!!  Tina


Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Merry and all that Jazz

I have not had much opportunity for posting the last couple of weeks but wanted to wish everyone a very happy holiday season.  See you.... well, some of you maybe.... in 2013!

:o)  Tina

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

This is SO Cool.

About once a year I get on a kick with geneology.  I just got onto that kick this afternoon.  I signe dup for the 14 day free trial at Ancestry.com.  I have to say, it is pretty freaking cool. I am all the way back to like 1700 on one side.

This is my 3rd great Aunt Sophia Sly (1816 - 1893).

Sophia Sly 1816-1893
Cool?

I think YES!!

:o) Tina
-

Monday, December 17, 2012

OMG BLOGGER!!!! Yah Jerk!

I wrote a huge witty, fun to read post and it is lost.  All of it. Gone.

I am not rewriting it.  I am not good at rewrites. :(

Bummer.  Stupid Blogger!!!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I am a Hoarder

So, I can see my floors again but there is still a lot to be done - and a lot that still has to find a home.  I am currently sitting with half of my bum on a very hard uncomfortable steno chair just so that I can reach out and touch base (hahaha - I just sang that in my mind!).

I was just puttering - making tea, getting dinner in the crock pot and I was thinking about my new 'boss' and the fact that today he mentioned that he was a hoarder.  I think, not like on Hoarders, more like on Canadian Pickers, but he did mention that he owns seven houses and one of them houses him, his wife, their two dogs and two contain his stuff. I am a bit of a hoarder too and was making a mental list and thought you might like to hear it:

My List of Shame

Information - patterns, recipes and quotes top the list but it is by no means exclusive to those things.  As of right this minute, I have 1,861 pins and 1,085 likes on Pinterest - I use my likes to quickly add something I want to pin once I have verified the link.  I never pin without a valid link. Pinterest was amazing for me - is - as it allows me to organize my hoard and keep it off of my hard drive.

Ribbon - I have so much ribbon it is nuts and I have really just started using it a little bit.  I still have ribbon from when I married H1 in 1997 and closing my shop has made this problem SO much worse... Is it a problem?  I think not. :)

Thread and Bobbins - This one will probably subside now that I do not have the shop.  When I closed, I took all of the remaining bobbins and thread before we really even began clearance.  I was pretty excited to be the proud owner of 1200 spools of thread and 1500 bobbins, cause you know I will use them. ;)

Gift Wrap, Gift Bags and Pretty Paper - Although not as severe as the ribbon thing, I do collect these things and find it difficult to part with them.

Cookie Cutters - Probably no body but my kids knows about this little obsession.  I have about 50 and I bake about every three years. I would buy more too.  They are just so cool.

China and Flat Ware - Especially bowls - I have so many I have lost count and I can not resist buying more if I see a cute vintage one while thrifting.  I have so many forks and knives in my cutlery drawer that I use plastic basket because one of those regular cutlery holders would not even come close.

Baskets - I love baskets.  Love them.  I have about 100.  Seriously.

Paper Clips - I can't explain this one.  It's like the button thing.  I will steal them, pick them up out of mud puddles.  I cannot resist them. Especially the colourful plastic coated ones...

I just paused and thought, hmm, what else.  How could I forget this one?!

BUTTONS - I probably have a million.  No joke.  And I LOATH using them.  I feel like I am giving them up and I will never see them again.  Can you say, crazy?

I am sure there are more, they just aren't popping into my mind right now.  I will add some if they come to me. :o)

I will be back soon, I want to get back into the swing of posting again.  I am missing my secret blog life, I just need to clear off a seat... I think I am three Fill in the Blank Fridays behind!

:o)  Tina





Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Blue

I am sorry I have not written.  My house is packed to the rafters and I have been working toward cleaning it up.  I have also been sitting around (in the family room where there is room to sit) feeling kind of, well, blue.

I am sure my giddy-up will come back to me.  Just give me a few more days... I am working on something new with my beloved sewing machine and that usually cheers me up...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

What I Have Been Up To...

First of all, I gotta tell you I am still pretty pooped.

This last couple of weeks has been chaotic for me.  Both of my kids have been sick with strep throat (which I luckily did not get even though it is the one thing I am prone to) - Penelope was home all last week and The Little Man all this week.  CH has been having a really hard time with a migraine pretty much non-stop since we went to Calgary for Thanksgiving. The shop has been packed up (we are almost done!) and brought home - which in itself is a huge job that I have ahead of me, but one I am looking forward to. I worked in Castlegar and at Brost Auto last week, but this week I skipped Castlegar.  I value my sanity more than a pay cheque.

Anyway, I have, in all of that, still found some time to sew.

Brost Auto Worx Machine Embroidery

I did some machine embroidery for work. Me, who cannot chew gum and do anything else at all.  Machine embroidery and sewing with my other sewing machine making little zipper pouches at the same time.  Two sewing machines going at once.  Life is fabulous!


I made this one a while ago but I am surrounded by too much stuff to take good photos of the ones I made this week.  They are in what I think of as "adult" fabrics - black and whites, leopard print, and a red swirl.

On the weekend I finished up two bucket bags from a pattern I bought here.

Bucket Bag

I am not posting the picture of the other one because it is terrible!  The picture - not the bag.  It is pink with a blue floral pocket and I am considering keeping it for myself.  As with every pattern I purchase, I purchased it for the templates only and made it my way.  What I learned - and I think it will apply to all the bags I make from now on - fusible fleece on the outside makes for a better structured bag. :o)

K.  My goal for next week is to get some stuff onto my Etsy store - which is in a sad state of affairs.  Nag has been keeping up the shops Etsy store, thank God for that.

Gonna go and do some sewing.

:o) Tina

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Pooped

That is what I am not what I did.

CH and I went out last night and had a GREAT time! But I am pooped out. Too much dancing, walking, talking, and drinking. Not so much that I am hung over or anything, just enough that I am pooped!

Thank you Trail Smoke Eater Executive for putting on this fun event! You can count on us being there next year - see you then!

:o) Tina

Friday, November 9, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

Did you know that a Blue |Whale's tongue weighs as much as an elephant and that it's heart is the size of a car - does that mean an Austin Mini or like a full sized car?  Crazy!

So Friday again.  Can you even believe it?  I have had a bonkers week, as usual.  The shop is getting close to being packed up.  Sigh....  Still feeling a little sad about the whole thing but I am, truthfully, looking forward to brighter days ahead.  That being said, I got a call from one of my dear sweet Aunts today expressing how proud she was of me for taking this step.  Expressing that I was not failure... I am not sure that I feel like a failure.  Just like the end of my marriage to H1, I can honestly say that I gave it my best shot and I only stopped because it was time to stop.  Time to move on to something better.

In other news, I have had a crap filled disastrous kind of day and Penelope has decided she is going to be a vegetarian until 'she can forget where meat comes from'.  Aye-carumba (sp?)

Okay, enough serious.  Let's fill in some blanks. :o)

Fill in the Blank Friday
{via}


1. I like to laugh, to feel loved, to feel like someone cares how I feel, to know that my family (near and far) has my back, the smell of summer rain, the way my daughters nose turns up just a little and the small smattering a freckles on it, my sons beautiful greet eyes and sooty eye lashes, CH's caterpillar eye brows, the colour pink, rainbows and ice cream and rainbow ice cream, fabric, Tetley tea, potato chips, being married, being a Mum (love it, actually), the colour green, strawberries, Haagin Dazes strawberry ice cream, my Uncle Roy's quiet chuckle, my FIL's shit eatin' grin (that he has passed onto Penelope and The Mouth!), spending time with PITA, likes on Instagram and Facebook (makes me feel special), hugs from some and kisses from others; when people I don't know, know my name... just off the top of my head...

2. A life goal of mine is to have a horse and a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle, preferable pink.


3. The last thing you would ever expect me to like (even though I secretly do) is smoking. there I said it. I would love to smoke. Right. Now. But of course, I won't.

4. Some wise words that I love are "I love you Mum(my)." Wise? Oh, because they know how to work it! :o)

5. Most mornings you will find me rushing around trying to make up for lost time because I am the slowest waker upper ever and should always get up and hour before I need to but I never do. I am late almost everyday!

6. Right now I am super into the idea that I will have a little more time and a little more money and a whole lot less stress. Pretty excited about that bit.

7. Right now I am super over AMERICAN politics. Seriously. I am CANADIAN. I realize that the United States dominates the world but there is nothing I can do about who their president is. Why are my friends posting about it on Facebook, isn't it bad enough that I am subjected to it all over TV and the internet. The Voice was postponed for it for crying in the sink. The Voice!

So tomorrow I am going out for the first time in like three years with CH. I am little nervous... liquid courage will help me get over it. I'll let you know how it went.

:o)  Tina

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Stupid Emotinal Me

I think I might be feeling a little sad about the shop.

I was so happy at first.  All I could think about was shedding the responsibility and moving into my new, less stressed life...

Now I am feel like I have lost someone.

Stupid.  I know.  It is a collection of things.  Not a person.

But I loved it.  I really did.

But it hurt me and made me sad - and really stressed.

I have to say goodbye.  For my family.  For myself.

Onto bigger and better things I suppose.... well maybe smaller and better, would be better...

Wish me luck.

:/  Tina

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Liebster Award Nominee!


Liebster Blog Liebster Award
I love getting comments on my my blog - love it - I think the fact that I hardly get any makes them so much more special when I do. Last The other night I was even more excited when I found that had been nominated for a Liebster Award - even though I had never heard of this before it was still very exciting. Thank you Living La Vida Holoka! The Liebster Award is given to up-and-comers in the blog world with under 200 followers - I don't know about up and coming but I sure qualify for the under 200!

So here is the deal:

#1     Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.
#2     Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.
#3     Choose 11 bloggers (with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them to your post.
#4     Go to their page and tell them about the award.
#5     No tag backs!

So here goes...

11 Random Facts About Me 

#1     My family is the most important thing in my life.  I gave up my shop for them so that we could have a better life.  I would do anything for them. Anything.

#2     Do not lie to me.  I never forget and I will never believe you again. Ever. I will forgive you, though (please see #6).

#3    When some thing is really funny I laugh at the sky.  If it is really really funny no sound comes out, but lots of tears do.  It is the greatest feeling.

#4     I will do anything I can for you if I consider you my friend. I can always find a silver lining and I will do my very best to brainstorm and help you find a way out of your jam.

#5     I am an information hoarder.  Especially information in the form of books, recipes, and patterns.  Pinterest freed up so much space on my computer.  I have gone from 2500 bookmarks and 30,000 saved pdfs to 62 boards, 1740 pins and 950 likes (likes are the things I looked at on my phone waiting to become pins.)

#6     I am a wimp.  Physically, wimpy.  Emotionally, wimpy, but good at covering it up. ;)

#7     My husband was my next door neighbour before he was anything else to me.  The story is too long to put on this list, but I might write a Saturday Story about it one day. :)

#8     I am hands down the worse speller over the age of 10 in my family.  The older I get the worse it gets.  I have spell check everywhere!

#9     I secretly love country music... perhaps it is not that much of a secret...

#10   I loath competition.  It makes me feel sick to my stomach.  I don't know if it is why I don't play sports now or why I never really did when I was a kid.  Competition when my children are involved is even worse. Can't handle it.  At all.

#11   I have been married twice.  Right around the time H1 and split, my bestie, Surely, moved to London.  I miss her everyday and it has been 11 years.  I never miss him other than when I am doing housework as he was freakishly clean.

Okay so now...

Questions from Jessica.

When did you start blogging?
  I started blogging about 5 years ago but I have only really been making any effort in the last year and half or so.  I would love to grow it into something that has followers, maybe makes a little money... the problem is that I really do blog for me and do not try to attract an audience by being consistent with my content or frequency.  One day it might be something I tried that I saw on Pinterest, the next it might be a book I read or something silly one of my short people said or something I made. I have big plans for tutorials but they never seem to come to fruition.

With the holidays coming up, what are some of your favorite family traditions?  I don't really have any favourites.  I love the whole holiday season and being with everyone at their happiest.

What's your guilty pleasure? I don't even know what the means.  I am not Cathloic and do not feel guilt. :p

What's the last really good book you've read? I am not sure.  It feels like a long time since I read something that I really loved...  probably Secret Daughter, way back at the beginning of September.  I think that may have been the last book worth blogging about. :o)

What is something that has made you happy recently? I can't think of anything off of the top of my head.  I have been feeling quite happy and as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders since I decided to close the shop...  so maybe that.  Even thought, that somehow seems kind of like a betrayal to the shop - as if it were a person...

What is one of your favorite smells? Gardenia.  Love gardenia.  I also love the smell of breast fed baby breath, the ocean, the river near my home (especially on hot summer nights), and (my) clean laundry.

What is one food you probably couldn't live without?  I love food.  I am not sure that I could choose just one... maybe parmesan cheese - it just makes everything taste better! :o)

What is one of your best traits? I would have to say my sense of humour.  I think I am very funny.

How do you keep positive?  I don't really have a method.  I think that you are either a person who can remain positive, or not.  CH is a bit of a glass is half empty person but says that he is a realist. I am a glass is half full person and have been accused of wearing rose coloured glasses... I do have a knack for finding the silver lining. :)

What's something you would absolutely love to splurge on if money wasn't an issue? A European cruise.  I would love to go back to Italy and Penelope wants to go to Paris and I would love to visit Surely in London....  I would love to travel around Europe and the Mediterranean on a cruise ship more than just about anything.

What's something you love about where you live? My home:  The people in it.  My city:  Knowing so many people and the sense of community. My region:  The Kootenays are a wonderful, laid back place with a reputation for being friendly, beautiful and for growing pot.  ;)  My province:  Seriously, what's not to love.  British Columbia really is the best place on earth. My country:  Canada, sigh, beautiful, massive, kind, courteous, diverse, accepting...  there is a lot to love!

Okay, so now for my nominees....  this is where feeling like I lost the popularity contest haunts me...  I lack the confidence to reach out to people.  What if they ignore me or think I am stupid? What if they don't like my questions???  It took me a LONG time to find the right blogs to send the nominations to.  I wanted to send it to blogs that I legitimately enjoyed reading rather than the first 11 that I found mildly interesting, so...

The Nominees, In No Particular Order, Are... 

The Sewing Chick (she has 204 followers, 4 over the limit.  I am a ruler bender...)

An My Questions...

{one}     Have you ever seen a ghost?
{two}     What country (countries) are your ancestors from?
{three}   What is your favorite day of the week? Why?
{four}     Who is your Bestie? Why?
{five}      Who do you admire the most? Why?
{six}       What was the best road trip you have ever been on?
{seven}   Are you a night owl or do you go to bed with the chickens?
{eight}    What is the first thing you can remember?
{nine}     What achievement are yo the most proud of?
{ten}       Have you ever driven (or ridden on) a motorcycle?
{eleven}  Do you believe in reincarnation?

It's always nice to have some recognition from fellow bloggers... or anyone else for that matter.  While my blog is an outlet for my own thoughts and feelings - my rants really - I really do love sharing all of this with whomever stumbles upon it and decides to take the time to read it.  I've happily accepted this nomination (Thank you again)!

Have fun and pay it forward!

:o)  Tina








Friday, November 2, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

Serious?  Friday again.  How can that be.  My blog is a sorry sight these days....  I have been pretty pre-occupied with closing the shop and the 99 million things that need to be done.  It isn't even that I have been doing too much but that I have been thinking too much.  I haven't been able to turn my brain off until like one or two every night and then the next day I am a zombie but unable to feel tired.

It's the pits, but at the same time I am very excited to be moving onto the next chapter in this little life of mine. ;) My dear friend Krista has been working on a new logo for me - I am very excited to unveil it here soon. :)


1. Something I swore I'd never do, but have ended up doing anyway is having a messy house. Before the shorties and the shop my house was always tidy and oh so organized. Now, sadly, not so much.

Buckskin quarter horse
{via}
2. Something I've always wanted to do is have a horse. I will one day. When.... when I am not so busy with 19 million other things I guess! I always tell CH (or maybe I just think it) that if you want something bad enough, you will find time for it.  The thing about the horse is that I want to have to time to savour it and right now it would just be one more thing I have to rush around and take care of. 

3. Something I have absolutely no desire to ever do is go scuba diving, bungee jumping, cliff diving, rock climbing, sky diving, ... you get the idea.

4. The best thing I ever did was become a mother. I always wanted to and it is just as amazing as I hoped it would be.

5. When it comes to trying new things, I am not very good at it. If it is a new activity I get all nervous and freaky. New food, forget it. Making new friends - not easy for me. New sewing technique, pattern, or book - I am all over it like a dirty shirt.

6. One thing I've never done is ...please see number 3.

7. My favorite thing do do is sew. Duh.

Here are a few things I finished this week.

Owl Bag
Two new owls bags

Lots of owls and a few whales

Grandmother's Flower Garden English Paper Piecing Hexis
Not finished - but worked on!
K. On that note, I am going, to sew.

:o) Tina


Friday, October 26, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

It's Friday - how can that even be. This week, like all the rest sped by.  I am looking forward to the weekend and getting stuff done in preparation to moving my shop home. :o)

This week I made a dozen little owls, two whales, three owl bags, most of a messenger bag - none of which have had their picture taken yet.  :o)

I am very excited for the next chapter!

Fill in the Blank Friday
{via}

1. My favorite feeling in all the world is the feeling of my family's hugs. Penelope with her little shoulders and arms like licorice whips and her big heart. The Little Man with his bear hugs and his too wise for his age ways. CH and and his comforting 'safe place' hugs. Pretty much love the hugs - but the kiss are pretty great too.

2. My favorite smell(s) is (are) gardenia, clean laundry (from my own house), (Body Shop) vanilla and breast fed baby breath (don't pass judgement on me, it smells so good. Penelope use to suck on my nose and it was the best smell ever).


3. My favorite taste is salty. Hands down. I also am very appreciative of savoury.

4. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen was... I should say my children or something along those lines - and they really are exceptionally beautiful but I always talk about them and when I read the blank the first thing that came to my mind was once when we all took a drive though the Pend Orielle road the summer after there was a huge forest fire. It was early evening and the light was perfect. The tress where all black and the grass and low growing plants that had come back were the most bright amazing green I have ever seen in nature. You could actually see the rays of the sun coming out of the sky. it was the kind of thing that would make a person believe in God.

5. The best sound ever is my children laughing together - although Penelope singing to herself all the time is a pretty close second. The love you feel for your children is so amazing and powerful - I feel compassion toward people who do not have children, by choice or not. To miss out on the magnitude of over whelming love would be so devastating.

6. A smell that reminds me of my childhood is rain on hot pavement, and the river in the summer heat.

7. My favorite of all the senses is sense of sight or sense of touch - I can't decide. I love to see beautiful things as much as I love to feel them. If I was forced to decide.  I f I had not choice?  Well, if I had a choice between never touching Penelope's cheek again or never seeing it, I would have to give up the sight. If I had a choice between never feeling a safe secure embrace from CH or never seeing him - I am going with the hug. You get the idea. I guess I decided, didn't I.  :o)

Have a wonderful Friday.  I'm off to the game!

:o) Tina

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

What I Did Today

Today I spent the better part of the day in family court. :( Yep, that's what I said.  Court.

H1 believes that I am alienating The Little Man from him and took me to court to have 'the law' force me to force him to go to his house. The kind (woman) judge said that she could force him but it would mean police coming to my home and taking him away - does H1 want that?  He said he doesn't.

The thing is, it is not me.  I have not been forcing him when he does not want to go.  I do not really care either way.  I will support him no matter what he wants to do with his weekends.  I happily drive him to fro or let him have ninety nine sleepovers in a row.  All I want is him to be happy and to look back on his childhood and revel in the how wonderful it was.  Should I force him? Eeck, self doubt creeps in...

I have to admit that I sympathize with H1's situation.  I cannot imagine how horrible to would feel for your child not want to come to your home.  At the same time I feel like he made his own bed with his rotten behaviour and his unwillingness to get down to Dominic's level and do things in a way to build, rather than tear down, their relationship. Even when I give him advice - I who knows this child through in through like no other person on earth knows him - he does not; will not; take it.  I simply do not understand.

Unfortunately, things do not always go the way that you want them to go. Or the way that you expect them to...  10 years ago I was married to a different man (in every way possible other that their hair colour and the 'thing' that makes them both men) living a complete different life.  I was so sad and broken. Searching within myself for a way to be happy.  Making really big, really hard decisions about where I was going with my life - and the life of my child.

Now I am going to sew and to watch The Voice while the shorties are at my parents.  This was not exactly what I was hoping for in a day off.  :)

Tina

Friday, October 19, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday



The blanks this week are all about relaxing - I won't be doing much of that but am looking forward to it sometime in 2013.

Fill in the Blank Friday
{via}

1. One thing I plan on doing to relax this weekend is sewing with the fabulous fabric I bought today at the Castlegar Quilt Show. I saw it and had to have it to use with a green jacket I have set aside for a fabulous bag! Pretty excited.

Anna Maria Horner Fabric

2. A big pet peeve of mine is sounds. The crinkling of plastic is a big one but I also strongly dislike (I would like to say hate but I tell my kids not to so I will practice what I preach)the sound of chewing. I also do not like paper crinkly, overly loud music or TV. To be honest I am pretty OCD so a lot of things bother me that may not bother the average person but I have learned to accept and move on.

3. I am really loving the recognition I am getting for my creative efforts. It feels so good and is such a compliment when someone buys something I have made!

4. The rain is kind of expected. After a rainy spring and the river being its highest in like 40 years, this fall it is the lower I ever remember seeing it. This week is the first time it has rained in ages.

5. My favorite girly indulgence is pink and/or flowery stuff. My cell phone case - pink, flowery and girly; my lunch bag - flowery; my taste in fabric - flowery; my taste in clothes - pink. You get the idea.

6. A song I always get stuck in my head is (lately)., Set Fire to the Rain. Adele has a powerful passionate voice.  Love her.



7. The best cure for stress is family time, a little sewing and sleep. It is the only time I will choose sleep over anything else.

I am kind of tired tonight but I really want to sew. The quilt show was tiring and not as much fun as it used to be.  I think there are fewer quilters as a result of the economy and that the vendors are feeling the pinch.

Off to sew (and change into my pjs). :oD

Tina

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Random Conversation with The Little Man

The back story:  The Mouth's boss' last name is Button.  I love buttons.  LOVE. THEM. Totally jealous of her name, but little else. There I said it.

Me:  I wish my last name was Button. No. I wish that was my first name. As a matter of fact, you should call me Button from now on.

TLM:  I'll start calling you Button if you call me Felix.
(totally dead pan - he is finally getting a sense of humour like me.  Hahahahaha . That was for you PITA).

Happy day.  Off so sew.  What the heck, 10:30 already??!!

:o)  Nighty Night Rainbow Bright (that one is for PITA too),

Tina

Monday, October 15, 2012

The New Plan

Told Nag that I was going to give notice and close the shop today.  I am sad, but relieved and looking forward to a new chapter in this amazing life of mine.

Bomb. Dropped.

In other news, I finished these two bags today.


Black velvet handbag purse
Crush - black velvet outside, decadent satin lining inside.  This bag was a jacket!
Black velvet handbag purse


Black and hot pink purse hand bag
Curvy - this bag was also a jacket, a Curves insulated jacket. :)
Thank you Fran!
Black and hot pink purse hand bag

More later on the new plan.

And by later, I don't mean today.

:o) Tina


Friday, October 12, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday - TWICE! :o)

Two weeks in one!

Fill in the Blanks Friday
{via}
1. My favorite flower is anything in the poppy or daisy family. I also love geraniums - they smell so good and are always in such vibrant colours I pretty much love all flowers and get teased for it on a regular basis! Remember the cell phone case PITA bought me for my birthday? 2. You should never talk about creation to me. I am sorry, I do not mean to offend anyone who may be reading this but - really???? (I am not really okay with talking about abortion either, but thanks for asking.)

3. My favorite discovery as of late is how wonderful it is to laugh again after having so much stress and worry the last few years and now finally being able to see my way through it. I went to visit an old friend today and laughed until I cried. It was fabulous.  Today's visit and the new job combine to make a happy - laughing - lady.  :o)

4. This fall you will probably find me wearing jeans and a sweater. The new job is kind of chilly!

5. I wish I were sewing.  I haven't been much this week and I am feeling a little creatively deprived.  I have ideas but have been too tired by the end of the day to get them done!

6. My favorite TV show currently is The Voice. I am obsessed. Totally love it. Love Adam. Love CeeLo. Love Christina. Love Blake.  AND love all of the participants   Each time one that I like is chosen to stay, I get goose bumps everywhere!


7. This weekend I want to get the house cleaned up and putter in the yard a little. And of course cook something yummy that will last the whole week long - or at least two dinners!


Last weekend I was away on a Albertan adventure but could not miss filling in the blanks! I didn't get them finished until like Wednesday so I waited to post them.  Happy Friday everyone!

{via}

1. The last thing I ate was Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar Super Spectacularly Delicious Potato Chips. Yum.

2. The last time I went to the beach was at the end of August. I planned to go one more time in September but it just never seemed to happen once the busy fall schedule kicked in.

3. My last vacation was this past weekend when we went to Calgary to see the Mouth. We stayed in a fancy hotel (Coast Plaza) we booked through hotels.com and it was fabulous! I posted about it while I was there a little bit here, and here and here.

4. The last place I drove was to Sunningdale to pick some fusible fleece I ordered up from my parents. Pretty excited to refill my stock!! Two full bolts make me a very happy creator!

5. The last song I listened to was Goodbye Earl.... nope, Beth by Kiss.  I like to test CH's musical trivia abilities every now and then. He is really good at it and it makes me smile.  He has a terrible memory but remember music.  Go figure.  :o)

6. The last thing I watched on TV was Nova: Becoming Human on Netflix.

7. The last time I said "I love you" was when I was trying to tear myself from Penelope's grasp when tucking her in and saying goodnight. My least favorite part of the day.

Have a super fabulous, super wonderful, weekend.

X :o)  Tina

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Way Back - Things I Saw or Thought About on the Road

1. Stop signs in the prairies are twice the size of ours at home. I'm not even joking. It's nuts.

2. The foothills near Turner Valley are beautiful in October. I thought Turner Valley was a city. I was wrong.

Alberta foothills in October


3. Long drives on easy roads make me sleepy.

4. The best time of year to travel in the evening is hunting season. Apparently the East Kootenay and Albertan wildlife is smart enough to lay low, we haven't seen so much as squirrel on the way home.

5. Rest stops in BC out number rest stops in Alberta like 8 to 1, even though in Alberta you need them to wake up!

6. It was snowing in Longview Alberta. It was freakin' cold in Sparwood. After being so nice in Calgary it was a shock to my bare arms!

grey wolf at Bass Pro Shop
A beautiful (stuffed dead?!) wolf - one of many.
7. There was a giant cowboy in a field in Alberta and Paul Bunyan in some trees in BC.

8. Pedestrians in Alberta never look. I mean never. Ever. They just walk. What if the driver doesn't look either? I had like 12 mini strokes while in Calgary because of this.

9. Cross Iron Mills is an amazing mall with a really interesting hunting and fishing store called the Bass Pro Shop (amazing, but creepy) store with lots of stuffed dead things all over the place. In some ways I enjoyed it more than the zoo as the animals were too dead to be bored and sad.

Doe (?) elk above the gun sales area.
10.  My Shorties are were so amazing all the way there, all the way home and almost every minute of in between.  :o)

The bottom line is, I much prefer my province. Alberta is a nice place to visit but coming home to the mountains and proper sized trees is a wonderful thing.

Looking forward to work tomorrow - LOVE my new job. :)

:o) Tina

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Day 2. We Are Here

1. The zoo in Vancouver is bigger and flatter than the zoo Calgary but Calgary is more interactive and has more variety. The dinosaur park sucks in October and there was garbage everywhere. (Not cool Alberta) The enclosures are way bigger in Vancouver - way - which is better for the animals but less exciting for the people. I think Calgary also has more animals. Over all it was enjoyable but very surreal. I enjoyed it but felt a lot of the animals seemed bored and listless, especially the predators.

2. I was worried I would be too cold and I am boiling!! It has been beautiful here today.

3. Soap dispensers are tourist attractions to a seven year old.

4. My child's 'adult' relationship is a difficult pill for me to swallow. It's going to be so much worse when the child is mine biologically and I have raised them from birth.

5. I am pooped.

:o) Tina

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 1. On the Road

Worth noting from the road:

1. The Salmo Creston pass (officially Kootenay Pass) was beautiful as always. It is a majestic pass, very high up. You go straight up to the top of the mountain and then straight back down. (I always distract myself taking pictures of the beautiful scenery so that I am not freaking out about driving at the edge of a cliff!)




2. The post office in Yahk is in a mobile home.

3. The Shorties rock. No fighting and no complaining. Partly because they are excited to see their brother. Partly because they are use to road trips and tolerate the ride. Partly because they are just amazing little people.

4. Strange conversations: Is daylight savings time transcontinental?

5. Apparently road trippin' agrees with me. I just bought a faux leather jacket. So not my style but it once was so I took a chance. I bought a WHITE hoodie to go under it. Well it is actually cream but the fact is, it isn't black and that is amazing for me!

6. They have huge candy bags at the gas station in Windemere and steeped tea is $.10 more in Invemere than home.

7. I am tired and I'm going live with my post. Talk to you in the morning. :)

:o) Tina

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 1. Waiting for the Adventure to Begin!

Here I sit waiting not so patiently to go. Every time I think about it my shoulders get tense and the butterflies in my tummy dance.

I alway get so anxious when I am doing something out if the ordinary. All things considered that is so strange. Where has the bravery of my youth disappeared to??? I think my kids took it! ;)


:o) Tina

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Esplanade Ave,Trail,Canada

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Alberta Here We Come

Me, CH and the Shorties are road trippin' to Cowtown this weekend to see The Mouth and his boss (okay, his girlfriend).  I plan to do a bunch of posts - via my phone - while on the road.  Should be interesting... I am TOTALLY freaking out!

Monday, October 1, 2012

I am Sally Albright

When Harry Met Sally
{via}
A long while back I did a post that was a list of interesting things about me.  I would like to do a list of weird things about me but then you might not read my blog any more because you might think I am a total wing nut, so I will give them to you slowly!  :o)

Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?  There is scene in the movie where Sally is ordering pie?  That is me.  She is totally neurotic about a zillion things - she is me.  Serious.

But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.        ~Sally Albright

If you haven't seen it, what are you waiting for?

:o) Tina

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday

This has been a FABULOUS week! Seriously. I got my settlement from ICBC. I got a real job... I think I mentioned it before. I wanted it and now it is mine. I am not going to lie, I am a little leery. I have had way too many I-wanted-it-but-it-has-been-a-big-disaster scenarios in recent years. Out of the frying pan into the fire as they say. I am hopeful - and dare I say, a little excited!

Fill in the Blank Friday
{via}
1. My first memory is probably from when I was about 4. My cousins had a Guinea Pig that they kept out in the yard, his name was Bert, and I thought that was pretty cool. When we got Guinea Pigs this year, I asked my parents about it and they said I was nuts - there was never a Guinea Pig at my Grandma's (my cousins lived with her) so I called the eldest of the three and he told me that they did have a Guinea Pig, named Bert, when he was 10 - which would make me 4. I remember loads of things from when I was 5 and from there onward. I actually have a ridiculously good memory.

Guinea Pig and cat sleeping together
I realize this is a crap photo, but that is one of our cats,
Violet (she is almost 2, but very small for her age),
having a sleep over at Jerry and Calvin's home.
(Calvin is the one in the picture). This seems to be her
new favorite place to sleep and they do not seem to mind in the least.
So typical of our house. :o)
2. My first love was my cousin Michael's best friend, Keith Lawrence. He had curly hair, big teeth and always wore a tennis visor - even to bed - I thought he was the cutest thing ever. I spent more time than I could calculate trying to catch him to kiss him! Lauren at the little things says that her first love was her husband... I have such mixed feeling about that. It is romantic and sweet but also a little sad - I think she said she got married at the ripe old age of 23... Not that there is anything wrong with any of that. I am just glad
that I did such an enormous amount of living before I really settled down. I wish that I had not gotten married so young the first time (24) as I really knew myself and where I wanted to be and what I wanted from my life when I got married the second time at the old age of 34. H1 and I changed so much between when we met and got married and then went our separate ways. We were too young and selfish to grow together. I hope that all of my kids wait until they are at least 30. Just sayin'.

3. My very first favorite colour was pink. Still is but mostly because I feel like I need to be faithful to it - I am just that kind of guy - I also love red and green and turquoise and LOVE orange (my new secret favorite).

4. The first time I really felt like a "grown-up" was when I made the decisions to purchase Carter's Sewing Centre and move the shop down town. It was a huge decisions. Not the best one for my credit score but I learned a lot and made a lot of great friends that I will keep forever - no matter what!

5. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is stretch and rotate my poor arthritic feet and ankles, I am a slow waker-upper so I tend to open my eyes a long time after my brain has started up.

6. The first CD (cassette tape, record, etc...) I ever bought was Bon Jovi Slippery When Wet. Okay, Nag is making me own up to it, it was Mini Pops... I am so old, it was probably the first mini pops. :p

7. My first car was a 1986 Toyota Tercel hatch back that was lowered and had tinted windows and a 6 pack CD changer (very high tech for the day). It was H1's hand me down and I LOVED IT!!! He rolled it on his way to work one morning and although it does not put me in a very positive light, I gotta tell all y'all, I was more upset about the car than anything else. I had some really great times in my little Turtle.

Cheers to a wonderful weekend!

:o)  Tina

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Thinking

Why is it that when I am little stressed I cannot stay away from the frickety frackin internet??

I circle around my house.  Sit in my chair and open up FB.  See more of the same old thing over and over.  Get up. Circle around my house.  Sit in my chair and open up FB.  See more of the same old thing over and over.  Get up. Circle around my house. Sit in my chair....  I think you get the idea.

Why am I stressed? Because I am bad with money and now I have to spend my week putting out fires!

We had to renew our mortgage this week.  STRESSSSFFFUUULLLL.  Anything to do with borrowing money - except from PITA - and I am a ball of nerves.  I need to pay the outstanding balance on my taxes and renew my insurance before the end of business on Thursday so I have to jump through a bunch of hoops for ICBC so that they will give me my settlement.  Jeesh.  Ativan here I come!

I have walked away having learned a very important lesson.  I read a quote the other day that summed it up perfectly... Surely would love this.  There was a reason she called me Cleopatra Queen of Denial.

Feel a little calmer now.  Writing always calms me down. Besides that, what will be will be, right? and there is nothing I can do beyond my best to make it all work out smoothly.

:o)  Tina

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Fill in the Blank Saturday :P

Owl bags and owl stuffies
Sorry for the less than great picture, I haven't taken any good
ones of these guys yet. The pink one is not done because
I have not decided if I want it to be a large stuffie or a bag.
What do you think?
Again, not Friday. I know, I should be ashamed. But.....yeah, well, I'm not.

Let me tell you about my week. Monday and Tuesday I worked at the shop and then took Penelope to dance form 4:30 to 6:30, Wednesday I worked at "the other job" in Castlegar, Thursday I stayed home to sew (made four bags and four little owls) then picked my shorties up from the bus and brought Penelope to her piano lesson, and then Friday I went to the Trail Market and the a Smokies game - that they won!!!! Woot Woot!! - and then today I went to another outdoor market, came home and took a T3 and had a nap.

The only night for the last week that I did not go to bed at like 1 am was last night but that was because I was already so exhausted I felt like my bottom eyelids were working their way up to my top one and I had to be out of the house absolutely no later than 8 this morning. So about that, why is that 8 on a Saturday is painfully early, while 8 during the week is just par for the course?  My shorties start school at 8:10 every morning and CH and I drive them together almost everyday, we leave at 8.  Yet on a Saturday I feel like I am leaving the house in the middle of the night!  It may as well be 4 am... so strange.

So, as you can see, it was a long week and I was busy, and I am pooped.  But, I am happy.  And that is what matters the most!

Fill in the Blank Friday
{via}

1. Something I am very proud of is my shorties. They are kind, considerate, beautiful (inside and out) humans. My awe of them constantly grows. The other day my 10 year old son stayed home from a sleep-over because he was worried about me setting up the Market without Nag on Friday morning - he also recently told me that I should audition for The Voice. (He is wrong. Really really sweet. But wrong on that one! I love to sing and am OK at it but OK does not sing on TV for more than 90 seconds.)

2. My favorite thing about myself is my ability to find the silver lining. Perhaps not always for myself but almost always for others. As I get older, I find that there are more and more things about me that I like all the time, it is kind of a relief.

3. My favorite colour for fall is well, I am not fashion forward person - I never ever ever have been - my favorite colours this minute would have to be orange, pink and purple (that's right PITA, I said purple).

4. Something I've been learning lately is that sometimes you have to make hard decisions for the good of the collective. I am close to making the decision.  Close but not quite there.  I would like to take a minute here to compliment CH and his amazing ability to make me feel that it is all right I am taking my time with this decision that takes us deeper and deeper into "the hole".

5. A book I am reading now/have read recently is Remembering the Bones. It's okay but not my favorite ever. I read a lot and sometimes post about what I read - you can read about that here.

6. My favorite Pandora Station is ...I had to Google Pandora Station so... no station for this girl. Not yet anyway. :o)

7. This weekend I will be trying to catch up on my sleep, getting some cooking done so we don't end up eating KD and A&W during our busy week, and of course, I need to start on a new batch of owls and bags.

I am going to get working on tomorrow's post right now, I am printed myself a journal so I can post specific things on specific days to try to be a more proactive blogger.  I need more followers, I want this blog to generate income for my sewing habit. Wish me luck - I think I am gonna need it!!!

:o) Tina


Sunday, September 16, 2012

Ghosts From the Past

This should be a Saturday Story but I have it in my mind to write about this today - Sunday.

If you are reading this and you know me personally, please know that it is not my intention to hurt, harm, or disrespect anyone. These are events the way that I remember them, the way I lived them, how I felt about them. This is only about me. Nobody else. This is my story.

Today I need to write about friendship and the realization that I had this morning about friendship and how it has affected (and effected!) my parenting as well as how I feel about myself and my own relationships.

When I was 15, I went a little nuts.  Ran away from home, et cetera et cetera.  It all happened during the summer.  By the time I went back to school my life had been flipped upside down, I was living in a foster home and nothing was the same - including my friendships.  The friends I had at the end of grade nine, were for the most part the friends that I had had since kindergarten with a few add ins along the way.  When I started grade ten, they shunned me.  They were 15 years olds, they were probably told to stay away from me by their parents - I know for sure that one was told by her older brother, she was the only one who did not listen, she was my best friend.

Shortly before I turned 16 I moved in with my Grandma in Christine Lake.  I made new friends.  Good friends.  They remained my friends for the most part, until I was in my late 20s when my life again turned upside down and again my friends vanished into thin air...  I spoke to one of them yesterday (Facebook messages count as talking right?) and it got me thinking.  A lot of thinking.  Mostly sad and frustrated, but a little happy.  Happy because I was talking to her and happy because it helped me to realize something very important.

When my kids have even the smallest problem with their friends I panic.  CH and PITA both know not to tell me about said problems because I freak out!  I go into full on panic mode.  I need to fix it.  I realized today, while doing the dishes, the cause of this crazy over mothering bat-crap lunatic behaviour is my own insecurities having been let down by my own relationships. Projecting my own experiences onto my kids...  tsk tsk.  Bad parenting.  Stupid skeleton's in my closet.

So. What this realization has done for me?  I am going to remind myself that I am worthy of having friends, I am going to be braver (at least try) about making friends and being friendly.  Most importantly, I am going to teach my children to rely on themselves, that they will get hurt but not too let it follow them into their future - not to let it effect the way they feel about themselves nor the way that they feel about friendship.

I need to leave my baggage behind and not pass it on. I need to leave it behind so that I feel worthy of relationships. I need to leave it behind so that I can really love myself.  

Oh happy days.  :o)  Tina

P.S.  Another ghost for you!

I am writing this post.  Sitting downstairs in the family room on my lap top and Penelope shouts - Mummy, there is someone at the door for you.  I go upstairs and there is a shady looking guy with an envelope at my door.  Hands it to me and off he goes.  H1 served me.  He wants the custody order from 2004 reinforced.  What a freakin' jackass.  I have never said Little Man couldn't go, he doesn't want to go.  I am not going to make him. He feels anxious and it makes him sick. He's crying because he doesn't want to go and H1 wants me to make him?  Um no.  Not gonna happen.  Does he think that the court forcing him to go is going to make him want to go???  What the heck?  Seriously.   What a jackass.


Saturday, September 15, 2012

CH Taught Me

I try to respect people and their feelings - I try to understand people and what makes them tick. I try to teach my children to do the same everyday, because nobody taught me until I met CH.  He taught me to look beyond what you see on the surface of a person to what is (sometimes hidden) deep inside - what makes them behave the way they do, what makes them who they are.  Happy or sad, kind or nasty.  Everyone ended up the way they are for a reason. The old adage of 'don't judge a book by its cover' applies to so much more than books!

I find it so surprising, almost everyday, how shallow most people I meet are.  Not to say they are vain, or only care about themselves but that they do not allow themselves to be themselves.  They do not know who they are.  You follow?

My main reason for this post?  I had a friend once who helped to perpetuate a horrible rumour about H1 (turns out it may have been true but at the time I did not want to address it), I was 25 and rather than talking to her about it I wrote her a million page letter telling her to hit the road (only not as nicely as that).  I regret that.  I was afraid.  The friendship ended anyway, so what was I afraid of?

The fact of the matter is, that from what I understand from mutual friends, this person still practices this kind of behaviour and that makes me sad for her.  I hope that one day she can see past all of her personal demons and be her true self.  I saw glimpses of that self during vulnerable moments many years ago and was not at a stage in my own growth to have realized that was what I was seeing... but I remember that I liked it. That I appreciated it because it felt real.

I hope she finds her way.

:\ Tina