How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy I will be committed)

Last one out makes it - right? Apparently not in my house. ;(

Enough said?

(and yes we sleep in a double bed with a cat and sometimes a certain, soon to be 9 year old girl.  I like it cozy!)

Lion to Lamb

Two posts in one day. No wonder it is still snowing!

Literally, snowing right now.  I read that Vancouver has a snow fall warning in effect so we will be getting more for sure.  We usually get their weather the next day.  Anyway....

In like a lion out like a lamb, right?

Today Penelope is in the worst mood of her almost nine years.
She just cannot seem to keep it together. Scowling and crying for little to no reason. Unlike her and I am not loving it.

The Little Man had a talking to by the police.  Yep.
Nothing serious - just boy stuff.  I was surprised.  I thought he knew better. He was very remorseful. Even said he was ashamed.  That is NOT like him.  He is usually very self righteous.  Fight to the death for his honour, that sort of thing.

The worst part of today.
A dear friend of mine lost his battle with cancer. He was a devote man and I like to think he is in a better place. He believed that he would be. He was kind and funny and liked by all who knew him. He will be missed.

Very much looking forward to the last half of this unpredictable month.

The Roaring Quiet

I have been very quiet here since the middle of October.  I have been very busy, but I have also been feeling very quiet.  I have had a lot on my plate and I have been feeling a bit blue.  This week seems worse.

I cannot seem to shake that feeling of anxiety. As if someone  - something - is, literally, squeezing my lungs.

I want this blog to transform into something great. Something  dedicated to the creative and fun side of me. Not the side that feels sad and overwhelmed and like taking my children and running way.

I do not always feel like that but I feel like that now and I need to find a way to turn things around.

I am not someone who can fake it.  I cannot force happy words out of the keys when all I really feel is sad. Frustrated. Angry. Anxious.

A new year is about to begin.  I am hoping for the best.

Seems Like I am Always in Action

I have been so busy selling what I make that I have not had time to talk about it!

Nag and I went to an amazing craft market in beautiful Nelson BC, the Kootenay Artisan Market,  and made a suitcase full of money.  Been attending lots of smaller, less lucrative ones as well.  Lots.  I have attended at least 2 a month since May and I am pooped! Ready to sew something new rather than what I know I will sell.  I have lots of ideas brewing!

I was at the local mall this last weekend.  It is probably the quietest of all the markets I attend but at is organized by father and brother in law it is not optional.  Two more to go and I can rest. :)
My table at the Kootenay Artisan Market looked so good!  It had to be against the wall, which is new for me, and I was worried but it was actually better than when I am behind the table and I was unable to get away with hiding which I think worked in my favour.

I went out on Saturday night for the first time in ages.  I was so hung over it was disgraceful - but funny - and my spirits were still up so it was all good.  It was a good thing I had Nag with me to take care of me. I am so often thankful for her and I am not just saying that because I know she read this. ;)

Anyway, I better get back to work.

Excited

Isn't it funny how things can change so quickly and easily?

Perhaps it is more accurate to say that they have not changed. That I have allowed myself to see that they could be another way.

Interesting how something you chose to believe can so easily be proven wrong.

I am happy.

31 Days of Pinterest, Days 5 and 6

Give me a break, I am busy woman! My Dad would ask - arm or a leg? ;)

So... I don't really have much for you.  Friday night we went to the Smokies game and them yesterday I was at a craft fair and then last night Smokies again... I haven't come up with much today either, I have been busy making chilli (I should post my recipe sometime cause I make the.best.chili) and another batch of Cheesy Veggy Chowder.

Let's call this day 6: I added a fancy (well,okay nicer, maybe fancy is a little exaggeration) signature to the bottom of my posts!  Thanks to the tutorial from Her & Nicole, that I have pinned on Blogs for Bloggers board. I am excited to use more of the pins I have on that Board while I grow my blog - there is so much information to be collected.

On that note, Pinterest really is the ideal spot for information hoarders such as myself to hoard their information.  Pinterest is such an enabler.

On day 5 I killed some fruit flies. This works, honest.  This summer was really bad for fruit flies in my house (which I later discovered the reason for) and someone mentioned this on Facebook so, I pinned it, I tried it and it worked like a charm.

I guess I better go and work on some future pins.  maybe something a little less mundane. :)

I WANT A PUPPY!

Okay.  Need to vent.

I really want a puppy. (We really want a puppy - but I am the only one doing the work to get a puppy - and that is a whole other post right there!)

In August our sweet (yet annoying) Pierre passed away peacefully in his sleep.

We had been thinking about adding a puppy to our family already, but his passing made it feel more urgent.  I really miss his talking to me (although I did not always appreciate it when he was here), and keeping my feet warm on the ottaman while I sew, and sitting at my feet waiting for things to 'fall' while I cook.  He was so smart and snuggly and funny... :(

Anyway, CH and I agree that all of our pets have just kind of come to us because they needed homes.  We thought getting a rescue would be good for us. Holy molly its like pulling teeth! They want to know ever detail of your life, references, photos, a home visit.... and then the one that I have been talking to - which is a small dog rescue - says oh, you are kind of far away.  Sorry but no.

Backyard breeders, here I come. :(

Tina

I Want

I want to buy a new camera.  I don't know if it something that will pass as I am obsessing a wee bit.

I want the Canon PowerShot SX50 HS.

CH thinks our current point and shoot camera is fine. I think he is wrong.  The Canon PowerShot SX50 HS is point and shoot, but is has the look and feel of a SLR or DSLR camera without the functions that I know I will never even want to learn, let alone use. Not to mention that it has higher resolution, amazing zoom and are just better over all than our little Sony camera - and of course, the big one, I want it.

Interesting fact:  I purchase my first digital camera in 2001.  It was just a basic point and shoot.  I was pregnant and I needed it (okay, I wanted it).  Period.  It was $1100!!  Crazy!!! I got a better quality one for free when I signed up for my last cell phone plan.

Have a happy day. :)  Tina

The Inequality of Man

While we were on our summer vacation this year, we spent some time in the beautiful city of Vancouver. We go there are least once a year as it is the biggest city anywhere near the middle of nowhere BC - way bigger than Calgary or Kelowna - and I have a lot of family there.  Free accommodation and free love! When passing through down town, my sweet Penelope remarks on the homeless and hungry people, wondering what we can do to help.  We decided that the next day we would come back down, buy some cheese burgers from the golden arches and hand them out to the people who call the streets their home.

It was touching to see Penelope give the cheese burgers to the hungry people.  She was so filled with joy. She was feeling so good about doing something good.  To her it was more than the little band aide it was - it was putting a smile on the face of someone who really needed it.  I was so proud of her.

In a city where people have millions.  Where the average home price $601,900 - well more than twice than in the area I live in the same province, the same country.  Why is there even one person who does not have a bed??

      

                                                                                               When we got home, I was running an errand for my real job and I saw this.  I had to take a picture as it goes against ever fibre of my being.  It literally made me cry.  That someone, anyone, would spend this amount of money on a vehicle makes my heart sick.  Take your bad of money and go to the Goodwill.  Buy yourself a Honda Civic.

Just a hair under $76 THOUSAND  and this truck is all yours. :(

And now, I will climb off of my soap box and go and do what I do best. Sew.

xxo Tina

I'm Back!! :D

I just read my last couple of posts to see where things were left.  Yikes!

Baby J is fine - she is still on the inside.  I am not going get into any details of what has gone on since because I know The Boss would not like me to talk about her, the baby or my feelings on being treated like a strange so I won't. From now on, nothing personal on this topic other than how much I love that little peanut.  October is coming fast!

Second, I am still married.  Still frustrated but neither of us is going anywhere.  Unless it is me, to the asylum when he finally leaves one to many globs of jam on the counter.

I have been crazy busy sewing and camping and going to markets and having a nice summer with CH and my shorties.  Went went to Vancouver and Victoria for two weeks, and on Tuesday we are heading out to go camping at Champion Lakes for a week.

When I get home I will be posting almost everyday - I already have some posts 'in the works'.  I am going to start my blogging rebirth with a Pinterest challenge, and maybe a nice sew along if i can find one.  I have SO many good ideas for tutorials in technique. I also have lots of finished items I need you to see.

Anyway, I'm going now but I won't wait two months to come back.  Promise!

xoo Tina

A Storm is Brewing

Over the weekend, I had some time to talk some things out with a friend who I feel is wiser - she is older than me and that is usually how these things work. She is in similar circumstances in that her husband had an accident and is not longer the man she married as a result of it.  Mine too.

Over the last few years it has been a constant struggle for me with CH.  After speaking to my friend, I feel like I understand a bit better and so I decided that I was going to try to help... I asked him if he would go to counselling   Okay, maybe I suggested, strongly, that he go. And I told him why. Now I will tell you.

He sleeps - or lies down and appears to be sleeping - for the vast majority of everyday. He wakes up at 7 and gets us going and is back to bed by about 8:30 every morning. He is almost always sleeping when I leave for work at 10 and if I happen to call home during the day his voice sounds gravely as if I have woken him up more often than not.

He does not often take his meals with us - because he is laying down 'resting his neck' - and then eats sweets, baked goods  and peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner at 11 - all while laying down.

He complains almost every morning that he did not sleep.  Even though chances are he fell asleep on the couch or upstairs putting the kids to bed and slept for 2-4 hours before I went to bed and took him with me. Not to mention the fact that he slept or was laying down 'resting his neck' for the vast majority of the day.

He is constantly agitated and snappy.  When confronted with this he gets angry and belligerent and denies it.  When I tried to talk to him this even he denied all of what I have just said.

I do not know what to do.  How can I make him understand without making it worse for my children.  He is not setting a good example for them. He is not fun to be with, ever, anymore.  He is not happy... and it is making me unhappy with him.

I will make an appointment for him tomorrow and hopefully he will go and things for him - and then us - will get better.

I need to add that, I am not unhappy in general.  In fact, I am very very happy.  Things are going so well and so smoothly.  I am in a really good place - I would just like it if he were in it with me.

:)  Tina

So Good and Then So Very Very Bad.

At blogging that is.

I have no excuse.

I have been busy - but everyone is busy.

I have been happy and therefore have had less of a need for ranting and raving... and lets face face it, that makes up a significant portion of my posts!

I have been sewing - a lot.  Lots of orders coming in and lots of local recognition.  AND local markets are gearing up which means I need to spend my evenings sewing.  Poor me.

I found out today my grand baby is a girl. That is pretty exciting. Penelope is happy to finally have a girl in the family besides me and PITA (who turned 30 this week!!)

Last week (I think it was last week - who can tell with soccer and ball and dance and craft fairs and work and sewing and Library Board and Restorative Justice Board and CH going away I have been too busy to keep track of time!) I got accepted at Craft Connection in Nelson.

This week I had a message on Facebook from Surely and I bawled like a lunatic baby for like 45 mins.

On the weekend we are going to Kaslo so that I can vend in their May Days celebration, we are camping and I am excited.  It is supposed to rain but I am optimistic!

I have been spending a lot of time talking (well texting and messaging) my friend Krista who is starting up an online fabric store.  I am sure she will do much better than me - she is cautious and I am not!! (and should have been!) Plus of course, she has me and my enormous failure to draw experience from!  And I suppose my talent too...

Speaking of talent.  My kids have inflated my ego to the point where I actually believe that I should audition for The Voice and I have begun singing at work and not caring if they hear me not.  Hahaha Poor them.

Work is great.  I like working with men, especially when they are funny and they care.  I feel like we are a little family.  I am going to have to think of some blog nicknames for the two of them.

Okay, so I really do need to sew.  I have lots of bags that are almost done and I want to bring them with me to Kaslo.  I will try (Nag!) my best to get back to being regular.  I thought an iPad would make it easier but I cannot type fast on it and it makes it less fun.  I will try harder.

Back soon!  :o)  Tina

Check In

I had a big day today, went on a mini road trip with Nag and submitted my stuff at Craft Connection in Nelson... We shall see. It seemed positive, and I will think positive!

I signed up for all 10 Trail Markets and am getting close to finalizing some other summer dates. That is exciting but I need to get sewing!!

I am still toying with the idea of Artisan but .... there are issues...

Anyway, I am watching The Voice. Be back in the Autumn, or sooner if you are lucky. ;)

Tina

 

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Hello Old Friend

I don't like to make excuses and tell you the same old thing over and over again but sometimes they are true.

Since the beginning of Spring Break I have been SO busy!

I thought when school started again I would get a little less busy - and maybe I have but now I am exhausted. Man do I hate mornings! And even more, I hate giving up the night so that I can get up easily in the morning. Which leads to my being a zombie by 10pm, early in Tinaland.

I have been busy - and really happy. Things have been going well. Smoothly. Knock on wood.

I got turned down by Circle Craft. Did I tell you about Circle Craft? The most amazing store in the province to sell handmade things. They felt the little owls 'not in keeping with the store's image' and my bags looked to be fitting but 'we already have a surplus of bags in the shop'.

I am disappointed but not discouraged. I know I'm good. (Toot toot - that one is for you PITA!)

In other news, The Mouth and The Boss seem to be doing well but hate us. Or, what else is new, me. Poor CH is hated by association. I am sad about it. I hope they grow up BEFORE the baby or at the very least soon after. They are going to need help. I don't want to talk about it.

The Little Man is playing baseball this year. I am pretty darn excited about that! To date he has not been much of a sports guy and now it's ball, soccer, and skiing. I'm proud and excited. Love him so much.

I have been watching Glee or Supernatural when I am sewing. One funny and light hearted and one I cannot watch without CH around cause it is too creepy!! USA Netflicks is fabulous!

Over Spring Break Penelope's bestie slept over for like 10 nights and then came for the weekend this weekend too. We love having her - well The Little Man doesn't love having two sisters. ;p

I have seen sewing like crazy. I will get some photos at the craft fair I am attending this coming weekend if I have a chance - it's going to be a gong show. CH will be in Vancouver for the doctor and Penelope has Dance Fest - which means I have to be in two places at once. It should be interesting...

That's all for now. I will try to or back soon,

:) Tina

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The Ugly Face of the Past.. Again!

Just now, as I sat down to make notes to later write a post about the craziness of my youth and how naive I was and still am, the phone rings.

It was Penelope. She and her bestie have been having a marathon sleepover since the second day of spring break (the first was my birthday) and last night they were at the besties house.

She was crying.

The bestie wanted to have a sleep over with someone else.

I lost it. I was angry and crying and of the edge of becoming hysterical.

Needless to say, I passed the phone to CH.

I so cannot handle my kids being unhappy in their friendships.

When I was 15 and left home, even though I started off going to the same high school, all of my friends left me. The people I had known and been friends with since I was five years old.

When I was in my 20s and H1 and I split, I went through the same thing again. I was older and hurt so much more.

I need to let my own issues rest and not act like such a loon when my kids friends let them down. It just hurts so much.

Me more than them I think.

I know it is the old hurts.

I know I expect too much of people once I call them friend.

I need t relax and let them have their own relationships and make their own friends and learn their own lessons. It is just so hard.

CH dealt with it. They are all sleeping over at the the third kids hours.

I think I am okay...

Rant over. Deep breath.

Back to what I was doing...

:/ Tina

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How I Know My Husband Secretly Hates Me (or at least wants to make me so crazy that I will be committed) Part 5

Let's talk about school lunches.

I will admit, I don't love doing it so he took over. (I guided him into taking over?)

That is one point for CH and a big fat zero for me on the good parent charts.  It's okay, I am ahead by miles and he deserves to catch up. ;)

The fact of the matter is, when we both did it, the Shorties always said his lunches were better. So I thought, what the heck.  He can do it and everyone is happy.

Except for maybe him.

Which might explain why there is garbage on the counter every morning.

Every morning. The plastic from the juice boxes, empty granola bar boxes or cookies bags (that's right folks, my kids get a healthy dose of store bought crap in their lunches!)

Every morning, when I am awake enough to put the kettle on, I go into the kitchen and there it is.  Garbage. Waiting for me. Taunting me to pick it up.

And I do, but...

I am sure this is how CH is retaliating against me... trying to make me crazy....

Or maybe I am wrong, it could just be that his house keeping skills are still, after ten years, similar to the skills he had when he lived alone and I have apparently taught him nothing...

If I've said it once, I've said it five times.  I saw his apartment and I married him anyway.  ;)

Have a super fabulously wonderful day - Tina. :o)

Random Bits of Happiness

{via}

Well, it's been an interesting weekend.

It was The Little Man's birthday and there were a crap load of 10/11 year old boys here over night.  I am such a good  Mum (toot toot) - although CH is the one who stays up and then wrangles them all to sleep I even did that this weekend.  Not that there was much wrangling, I they were actually better than I expected and settled down by about 2 am.  (And yes Mum if you are reading this I know that is too late for 'little' kids to stay up.)

I found a pictorial tutorial on Pinterest that shows how I do my zipper pockets.  It is super easy, I was terrified of zipper pockets until I tried this and now I put them in all my bags.  The only part that ever gives me any trouble is getting the zipper to be in the exact right spot.  I am kind of funny that way.

I finished up some bags I was making this week and am working on some decorated zipper pouches. My friend Krista - who is an amazing photographer of inanimate objects - is going to take some product shots for me to create a portfolio so I can send my stuff to some of the fancy consignment stores that are in this amazing, creative province of ours. I will make sure I post them and put my money where my mouth is.  I know I talk a lot about my sewing but do not show much of the proof.  You can see some of my stuff here.

I have been a sewing machine lately. I have been feeling very lazy and unorganized, and that seems to be all I really want to do.  When I became semi-retired I became a horrible time waster.  It takes me twice as long to do everything!

{via}

Since I did not really do anything new this week, I will share some of my pins with you.  :)

{via}

When I showed this one to Penelope - she said.  "Oh, I could totally use that!'  She is so odd - I love that about her.  She did not think it was weird at all, only useful. I suppose that if I were 7 and constantly eating my own hair I might see the practical rather than the comedic value of such a device.

I actually went to the app store and downloaded Web MD to see if this is the result that I got - and it was!

What was I saying about wasting time....

 ;o)  Tina

The Worst

Speller, that is.

Ever.

Sometimes I spell a word so wrong that spell check doesn't even know what I am talking about.

Sometimes I have to ask The Little Man how to spell stuff and he just turned 11.  Today, actually.

I just figured out that there surprise is not spelled "suprise".  I wonder, did I use to know and I forgot or did I never know.

People who love me make fun of me for this (and a few other things, but we don't need to get into that right now).

I don't mind. In fact, it makes me laugh without sound.

:o)  Tina

Today is No Longer Blank

So... today is Friday.

It was once, Fill in the Blank Friday, but then the author of the blog where I was picking up the blanks had a baby and as the baby grew her interest in her blog diminished.

I am okay with that, but I do miss talking about myself (because I am a little bit like that) and the routine of it.  She stopped doing it for a little while and then when she came back, they were not inspiring and she knew it and quit.

I get that.  Your first baby can makes you a little nuts and a lot tired.

I am not sure what I will do it place of the Blanks, but I will find something.  But not today.  Today, I am sewing.

:o)  Tina

Fabulous Beautiful Amazing Vancouver, I Love You

Not only do I love this wonderful city but I love my people there so much.  I got to see three of my lovely Aunties and several of my wonderful cousins.  I am already looking forward to my next visit!

The people of Vancouver that do not belong to me are very unfriendly which I do not love. Even in it Kits, which was friendly welcoming place when I lived in Vancouver ten years ago. People look the other way when you smile at them.  I would hope that they do not think I am so down on my luck that I might hit them up for a dollar!  Who knows but after being back in small town BC for ten years I find it very strange - they do not know what they are missing avoiding human contact is so unnatural.

{via}

Perhaps it is the fact that it was once an affordable neighbourhood and has now become a crazy expensive neighbourhood loaded with snobby people. Not all of them.  I have two amazing Aunts, an equally amazing Uncle and several adored and wonderful cousins all living in this much changed neighbourhood.

The houses are really nice, if you like heritage houses, which I do. A lot. The one I have pictured here was almost right next door to where we stayed and is listed for 1 MILLION 798 THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!  CRAZY!!!!  Meanwhile, there are people sleeping on the streets down town and living in a tent city on the North Shore.  I love Vancouver and do not want to talk trash about my beloved city but.... perhaps the people need to collectively shake their heads and make some serious changes.  Things seem to have gotten very out of control and that scares me and makes me a little sad. Do you need a BMW, really?  Buy a Honda and donate the difference to a homeless shelter.  Seriously people.

Well, I got that off of my chest.  I did not even really know it was there to be honest but it came out so must have been.

We arrived Thursday at about 7:30 in the evening and stayed until about 11:30 this morning and I packed every minute as full as I could.  I honestly had no spare time whatsoever but it was fabulous - as always.  If you have never been to Vancouver you should go, it is so beautiful.

Snap365 Days 16 through 20

I did not take as many photos as a I normally would but here are my Snap365 shots.

The Foot

Day 16 :: I had something different in mind but got side tracked by life. Just crawled in for a super early night and realize I forgot to take my photo today. Husband says take a picture of my foot, I have nice feet. So I did. :)

(Note: The night before we left I forgot to take my photo so CH suggested I use his foot as my subject matter.  I thought it was hilarious but I never got even one comment so apparently no one else did!)

Doug

Day 17 :: Doug was hitch hiking at the West Hedley Mall. I hope someone picked him up, it looked like he had been waiting a while. Unfortunately we were headed in the wrong direction. ;)

(Note:  Doug (whose name is on his shirt, I am not just pulling one out of his hat) was still there, a little more snowy, when we came home but we are both very cautious of picking up hitch hikers.)

Art

Day 18 :: This is why I love the city. When was the last time you saw chalk art like this on the side walks of Cedar Avenue!

Winter in Vancouver

Day 18 :: January in Vancouver.

Freda

Day 19 :: Saturday we stayed with my Auntie in Cloverdale. She has the sweetest dog, Freda, who is almost 17!

(Note:  Freda is a teeny tiny Silky Terrier - more the size of a Yorkie.  Even when she was young and spunky she was a snugly loving little thing.  Her and her brother Conrad, who has been gone about a year, where the reason I got brave and got a dog as an adult.)

Heading Home

Day 20 :: Heading toward the mountains and away from the ocean and my family makes me sad but I miss my kids so home it is. :)

:o)  Tina