A Storm is Brewing

Over the weekend, I had some time to talk some things out with a friend who I feel is wiser - she is older than me and that is usually how these things work. She is in similar circumstances in that her husband had an accident and is not longer the man she married as a result of it.  Mine too.

Over the last few years it has been a constant struggle for me with CH.  After speaking to my friend, I feel like I understand a bit better and so I decided that I was going to try to help... I asked him if he would go to counselling   Okay, maybe I suggested, strongly, that he go. And I told him why. Now I will tell you.

He sleeps - or lies down and appears to be sleeping - for the vast majority of everyday. He wakes up at 7 and gets us going and is back to bed by about 8:30 every morning. He is almost always sleeping when I leave for work at 10 and if I happen to call home during the day his voice sounds gravely as if I have woken him up more often than not.

He does not often take his meals with us - because he is laying down 'resting his neck' - and then eats sweets, baked goods  and peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner at 11 - all while laying down.

He complains almost every morning that he did not sleep.  Even though chances are he fell asleep on the couch or upstairs putting the kids to bed and slept for 2-4 hours before I went to bed and took him with me. Not to mention the fact that he slept or was laying down 'resting his neck' for the vast majority of the day.

He is constantly agitated and snappy.  When confronted with this he gets angry and belligerent and denies it.  When I tried to talk to him this even he denied all of what I have just said.

I do not know what to do.  How can I make him understand without making it worse for my children.  He is not setting a good example for them. He is not fun to be with, ever, anymore.  He is not happy... and it is making me unhappy with him.

I will make an appointment for him tomorrow and hopefully he will go and things for him - and then us - will get better.

I need to add that, I am not unhappy in general.  In fact, I am very very happy.  Things are going so well and so smoothly.  I am in a really good place - I would just like it if he were in it with me.

:)  Tina

So Good and Then So Very Very Bad.

At blogging that is.

I have no excuse.

I have been busy - but everyone is busy.

I have been happy and therefore have had less of a need for ranting and raving... and lets face face it, that makes up a significant portion of my posts!

I have been sewing - a lot.  Lots of orders coming in and lots of local recognition.  AND local markets are gearing up which means I need to spend my evenings sewing.  Poor me.

I found out today my grand baby is a girl. That is pretty exciting. Penelope is happy to finally have a girl in the family besides me and PITA (who turned 30 this week!!)

Last week (I think it was last week - who can tell with soccer and ball and dance and craft fairs and work and sewing and Library Board and Restorative Justice Board and CH going away I have been too busy to keep track of time!) I got accepted at Craft Connection in Nelson.

This week I had a message on Facebook from Surely and I bawled like a lunatic baby for like 45 mins.

On the weekend we are going to Kaslo so that I can vend in their May Days celebration, we are camping and I am excited.  It is supposed to rain but I am optimistic!

I have been spending a lot of time talking (well texting and messaging) my friend Krista who is starting up an online fabric store.  I am sure she will do much better than me - she is cautious and I am not!! (and should have been!) Plus of course, she has me and my enormous failure to draw experience from!  And I suppose my talent too...

Speaking of talent.  My kids have inflated my ego to the point where I actually believe that I should audition for The Voice and I have begun singing at work and not caring if they hear me not.  Hahaha Poor them.

Work is great.  I like working with men, especially when they are funny and they care.  I feel like we are a little family.  I am going to have to think of some blog nicknames for the two of them.

Okay, so I really do need to sew.  I have lots of bags that are almost done and I want to bring them with me to Kaslo.  I will try (Nag!) my best to get back to being regular.  I thought an iPad would make it easier but I cannot type fast on it and it makes it less fun.  I will try harder.

Back soon!  :o)  Tina

Check In

I had a big day today, went on a mini road trip with Nag and submitted my stuff at Craft Connection in Nelson... We shall see. It seemed positive, and I will think positive!

I signed up for all 10 Trail Markets and am getting close to finalizing some other summer dates. That is exciting but I need to get sewing!!

I am still toying with the idea of Artisan but .... there are issues...

Anyway, I am watching The Voice. Be back in the Autumn, or sooner if you are lucky. ;)

Tina

 

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Hello Old Friend

I don't like to make excuses and tell you the same old thing over and over again but sometimes they are true.

Since the beginning of Spring Break I have been SO busy!

I thought when school started again I would get a little less busy - and maybe I have but now I am exhausted. Man do I hate mornings! And even more, I hate giving up the night so that I can get up easily in the morning. Which leads to my being a zombie by 10pm, early in Tinaland.

I have been busy - and really happy. Things have been going well. Smoothly. Knock on wood.

I got turned down by Circle Craft. Did I tell you about Circle Craft? The most amazing store in the province to sell handmade things. They felt the little owls 'not in keeping with the store's image' and my bags looked to be fitting but 'we already have a surplus of bags in the shop'.

I am disappointed but not discouraged. I know I'm good. (Toot toot - that one is for you PITA!)

In other news, The Mouth and The Boss seem to be doing well but hate us. Or, what else is new, me. Poor CH is hated by association. I am sad about it. I hope they grow up BEFORE the baby or at the very least soon after. They are going to need help. I don't want to talk about it.

The Little Man is playing baseball this year. I am pretty darn excited about that! To date he has not been much of a sports guy and now it's ball, soccer, and skiing. I'm proud and excited. Love him so much.

I have been watching Glee or Supernatural when I am sewing. One funny and light hearted and one I cannot watch without CH around cause it is too creepy!! USA Netflicks is fabulous!

Over Spring Break Penelope's bestie slept over for like 10 nights and then came for the weekend this weekend too. We love having her - well The Little Man doesn't love having two sisters. ;p

I have seen sewing like crazy. I will get some photos at the craft fair I am attending this coming weekend if I have a chance - it's going to be a gong show. CH will be in Vancouver for the doctor and Penelope has Dance Fest - which means I have to be in two places at once. It should be interesting...

That's all for now. I will try to or back soon,

:) Tina

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The Ugly Face of the Past.. Again!

Just now, as I sat down to make notes to later write a post about the craziness of my youth and how naive I was and still am, the phone rings.

It was Penelope. She and her bestie have been having a marathon sleepover since the second day of spring break (the first was my birthday) and last night they were at the besties house.

She was crying.

The bestie wanted to have a sleep over with someone else.

I lost it. I was angry and crying and of the edge of becoming hysterical.

Needless to say, I passed the phone to CH.

I so cannot handle my kids being unhappy in their friendships.

When I was 15 and left home, even though I started off going to the same high school, all of my friends left me. The people I had known and been friends with since I was five years old.

When I was in my 20s and H1 and I split, I went through the same thing again. I was older and hurt so much more.

I need to let my own issues rest and not act like such a loon when my kids friends let them down. It just hurts so much.

Me more than them I think.

I know it is the old hurts.

I know I expect too much of people once I call them friend.

I need t relax and let them have their own relationships and make their own friends and learn their own lessons. It is just so hard.

CH dealt with it. They are all sleeping over at the the third kids hours.

I think I am okay...

Rant over. Deep breath.

Back to what I was doing...

:/ Tina

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Something New

I just ordered some business cards from Vista Print and since I put this web address on the card, I thought I had better post about something I made (or in this case am about to make) rather than going on about CH or the brats of whatever else crosses my mind in a day.

I just finished a big batch of owls but ran out of stuffing so they are going to have to wait until tomorrow. First batch with my labels - and I think it makes a huge different!

I am a messy worker (no comments please PITA) but I always tidy up in between projects. Went to clean off my cutting table to start a fresh batch of bags and I just couldn't disturb her.

We have a guest Pom-chi the last couple of days and I think she is tired from torturing him. ;)

So I put the garment I was going to cut up on my ironing board and then thought - oh my, I need to post about this.

I could not help but wonder who in their right mind would wear a pumpkin orange crush velvet turtle neck!? Seriously. Who?

I am going to cut it up and make orange flowers out of it to add to the turquoise velvet bag I am making for myself. Pretty excited about that.

I made more of the yummy potato soup that I posted about here, and made some bacon as a garnish. I got distracted (again no comments please PITA). It really is easier in the oven but I advise you too set a timer. ;)

Burnt to a crisp!

:) Tina

 

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Shame On Me

The older I get the more... ashamed? I am of society.

I shouldn't say that... but it's true.

I cannot understand why everyone needs bigger and better and newer to be "happy". To fill a hole that never gets filled.

In January I was in Vancouver, BC. It is a beautiful, amazing and wealthy city that I love so incredibly much. I lived there for all of my 20s and would love to move back.

While there, I saw two men sleeping on the heat grate on the sidewalk on Granville and Hastings.

It is prestigious corner. Birks is there. Granville Street is a big deal.

I found it upsetting and disturbing. Them sleeping there, so vulnerable to all of the things i keep my children protected from. Dirty, palms up hoping for some kindness to come there way.

Clean well dressed business people walking past as if they are shrubs or fire hydrants - only being aware of them enough not to step on them.

While in Vancouver I visited my cousin who was telling me that there is a community of people living in campers on the North Shore... Again, disturbed, although somewhat better. I guess... Families who live like gypsies because they cannot afford a home in this outrageously over priced city.

This is the part were I tell you why I am ashamed.

CH bought me an iPad for my birthday.

Which is ridiculously expensive and extravagant but I'm going to be 40 next week and that is what I wanted for my birthday. Anyway....

A couple of days ago, I heard on the radio that Apple could give every person on earth $19.37.

Maybe it is Apple that should be ashamed but in this house we have three iPods, two iPhones, an iPad Mini and my own beloved iPad. We contributed to the problem.

The gluttony of Apple.

If they ever decide to give to the poor, I want them to donate my $19.37 to Kiva.

:/ Tina

 

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