Lately...

I think I have become someone I do not especially like.  I have been working so hard at trying to find some balance and freaking out because I need to make some career changes (and that is scary - especially because I am 38 years old and the bread winner!!). I have been forgetting to take care of the little things.  I have gained back the 15 pounds I lost in the spring, my house is a disaster and I have fudged Penelope's home reading the last two weeks.  I think I deserve a great big F in life lately - I know I can do better.  I will do better.

I miss PITA, she helped me keep my head above the water when I was not doing to great job at it myself.... I need to get my poop back in a group.  A winning lottery ticket would be helpful... I am worried that if I give up the shop all together, I will feel like I did when my Grandmothers died - I was in an emotional black hole for months with both of them.  It won't be the same I know but I am worried none the less because already everyday all I want to do is stay home and cook and clean and hide.  I will admit, I am getting a little worried about me.

I read a quote about Pinterest today.  Same goes for my blog.  I wish CH would read and look at who I am, I don't think he really knows. I am no sure it would help him but it might, a little.  I tend to keep everything in - well not everything.  I love to write.  It is a safe and easy way for me to talk about how I feel.

"It hadn't occurred to me that such an online service also would be a window into me for my husband who sees me every day."

I have a huge list of what I should be doing and I am spending all of my time here - or reading blogs or pinning.  So off the frickity-frackin' computer and onto more productive things!

:o)  Tina