What I Did Today

Today I spent the better part of the day in family court. :( Yep, that's what I said.  Court.

H1 believes that I am alienating The Little Man from him and took me to court to have 'the law' force me to force him to go to his house. The kind (woman) judge said that she could force him but it would mean police coming to my home and taking him away - does H1 want that?  He said he doesn't.

The thing is, it is not me.  I have not been forcing him when he does not want to go.  I do not really care either way.  I will support him no matter what he wants to do with his weekends.  I happily drive him to fro or let him have ninety nine sleepovers in a row.  All I want is him to be happy and to look back on his childhood and revel in the how wonderful it was.  Should I force him? Eeck, self doubt creeps in...

I have to admit that I sympathize with H1's situation.  I cannot imagine how horrible to would feel for your child not want to come to your home.  At the same time I feel like he made his own bed with his rotten behaviour and his unwillingness to get down to Dominic's level and do things in a way to build, rather than tear down, their relationship. Even when I give him advice - I who knows this child through in through like no other person on earth knows him - he does not; will not; take it.  I simply do not understand.

Unfortunately, things do not always go the way that you want them to go. Or the way that you expect them to...  10 years ago I was married to a different man (in every way possible other that their hair colour and the 'thing' that makes them both men) living a complete different life.  I was so sad and broken. Searching within myself for a way to be happy.  Making really big, really hard decisions about where I was going with my life - and the life of my child.

Now I am going to sew and to watch The Voice while the shorties are at my parents.  This was not exactly what I was hoping for in a day off.  :)

Tina