Stumbled Upon - 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Found this link through a post by an acquaintance on Facebook and thought it was fabulous.  Copied and pasted to be my goal list for this year! Enjoy.

Here are the first couple to get you started, check out the rest here.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

I did this from about 15 to 29 when my life took a tumble and I came out on top - with none of my "friends".  It was awful and 10 years later I am still bitter but I am glad that they all deserted me and left me to learn to stand up on my own two feet and taught me not to expect much from anyone other than myself. I feel like the people I have in my life right now wouldn't let me down....  I hope I never have to test this theory.

2. Stop running from your problems. Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

I am pretty good about this for the most part but when it comes to money I run and run and run some more.  I have dug myself into a hole and I am going to dig out this year!! No more running and hiding for this girl, I am going to pull up my big girl panties and get a part time job to pull myself out of this rut that my bank balance has gotten into.

3. Stop lying to yourself. You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

I am going to get a copy of this and read it on my phone.  I don't like CH to know when I am reading self help books - I don't want him to make fun of me.  :p

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Bahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha.  Bahahahahaha.  I am a Mum.  I want to be on the back burner for the shorties (even the taller than me shorties) when they need me to be.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

I like me but I would like me with a little more financial security and a little less of a spare tire even better. :o)

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

With some things, I am really good at this.  Josh for example - the past is gone.  All I needed was his smile and to know that he loves me as much as I love him - even without him saying it.  But then there are other hurts that I carry around with me - some of them very old, most of them actually; that I can't seem to just set aside.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

I a firm believer that everything happens for a reason even when you sometimes do not see that right away.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Oh so true yet somehow, sometimes oh so hard to remember.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

I am pretty sure I am good about this.  I, as Pisces, sometimes have a hard time not taking on the moods others but that is different.  I happy, because I am happy with myself and my super ultra amazing life and the wonderful people in it.

11. Stop being idle. Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

I am very rarely idol but I do find that when I am my mind starts to wander in directions that are not always... happy.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

This is kind of how it feels to have Josh home after two and half years of very little contact.  I am excited and nervous.  I am not sure what to expect.

This also makes me think of having kids - you are NEVER ready even when you think you are.  it is so not comfortable but so freakin's amazing.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Being happily married (ehem) I cannot really comment of this although it is good advice.  :o)

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

I am guilty of this for sure. After being deserted by the people I thought to be my friends when my life was at it's most difficult I have a really really hard time calling anyone my friend.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Competition makes me feel icky, yet I cannot keep myself from wanting to know what everyone else is doing.  I am going to have to keep these two at the top of my mind.

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

I think I am pretty good at finding a silver lining... most of the time.  :o)

18. Stop holding grudges. Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

I do hold grudges, and not for anything current.  Although The One Whose Name We Do Not Speak is off my friends list for life that is less of a grudge and more ejecting someone who does not deserve to have me, CH, or my shorties in her life and holding onto the little ember of hurt so that I do not forget and put my guard down again.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

I strive to do this with CH but sometimes it feels like running in water. Not that his standards are low, it is more his self esteem and his belief in his own abilities.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

I am so bad for this.  I rarely even take a proper lunch break.  If there is one thing I would really love to do it is to learn to achieve a sense of balance, perhaps go for a walk at lunch.  Stop thinking about work once I reach home...

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

I have days where I sit back and sigh and am so so grateful for everything I have and then I have other days where I do not slow down and smell the roses even for a minute - I really don't want to have any more days like that as they seem to form line and are sometimes strung together in weeks and months depending on my stress load...

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

I really need to work on this...

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
I never used to be someone who took the easy way but over the last couple of years - literally 3 years maybe - I have become that person.  I feel like I rocked the boat hard and am a little afraid to do it again.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

:o( Every once in a while I have a melt down - 99.8% of the time it is too Brandi about the only two things in my life that cause me any pain or stress:  CH and $$$.  Having said that, the last meltdown I had was on Jen.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop?  It really is all CH's fault.  :p

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Narrow my focus?  Are you nuts?

28. Stop worrying so much. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

This is SO part of my 2012 plan.  I need to prioritize what needs to be worried about and grow some hair.  :o)

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

The Secret.  I used to follow and believe and then I got lazy...

30 .Stop being ungrateful. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

On the bottom of all of my outgoing emails:

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Have a most wonderful day.

:o) Tina